Everything

XXII

"Let me get this straight," he replied, breathing heavily, "You're calling me, at..." he paused, "Twenty minutes past five in the morning Eastern Standard, to tell me that you have a hot as hell girlfriend? Not only that but a hot as hell girlfriend that most men would gladly screw into the middle of next year? Have you lost your mind?"

"That's the question I've been asking myself for the last forty-five minutes, trust me." I sneered, frustrated at myself, more than my less than empathetic brother.

"Spencer, I'm going to be honest with you here. Adriana has brains, beauty and a body to die for. If you don't want her...then hell, I'll gladly take her off your hands if she'll have me."

"That's not it. You know how I feel about her," I raged, thoughts of any other man so much as breathing in Adriana's direction causing my blood to boil.

It was bad enough with Holloway. The scumbag DA hadn't exactly been a huge fan of public displays of affection, but they'd been a couple for goodness sake, and to watch the girl I loved being touched by another man, hugged by another man, kissed by another man, a man she clearly loved, a man she clearly wanted to be with. On more than one occasion, I'd contemplated where I would bury his body after I murdered him.

Men had always sniffed around her. They'd always tried. And I couldn't blame them. Adriana was everything a man could ever want and more. Far too good for me. Far too good for the men she entertained. Michael Montgomery. Aaron Carter. Men from her office. Men from the courtroom. Men on the street. But it was always me. Waiting. Waiting for her to see how much I loved her. Even if she didn't know it. Yet.

"Then what the hell has got you in a spin?"

"She's perfect." I murmured, "Everything about her is perfect and I want her so badly it hurts. But what if I'm not the man she deserves? What if she realises she can do so much better and leaves me? And why the hell are you drinking beer at 10 o clock in the morning?"

The sound of a cold can opening alerted me to the fact that my brother was probably some form of mild alcoholic.

"Hair of the dog, Spence, hair of the dog." He chuckled, "Why do you doubt yourself so much? She's with you, isn't she? I'd run away with that and never come back. She's with you!"

"What if I'm not enough? She's so damn... everything. She's everything I've ever wanted and more Seb, you know that. From the moment I saw her, that was it. It was finished. I am so..." I puffed out a breath, "I'm crazy in love with her."

"Of course you are," I could sense him rolling his eyes, "You've gone on and on and on about this girl for eight years Spence, me of all people should know that. So what's new?"

"It's different now..." I sighed, shaking my head, "You know, the other day, she was in the shower. Just having a shower in the morning like usual. But before I could even realise what I was doing I had my ear pressed up against the door, just to hear and think about the water running over her body. It was like I was possessed."

Sebastian snorted, "Wow, brother, you really are whipped."

"Sebastian!" I growled, thoroughly unimpressed.

"Alright, alright," he laughed, "So, what's making you change your mind? What's making you so paranoid?"

I swallowed nervously, "I slept with her for the first time last night."

Sebastian paused before chuckling heartily, "Ba-by bro-ther...way to go, Spencer."

"It's not like that Seb, and you know it. Sex is sex. Always has been. An outlet. A way to let off steam. But this? This wasn't just sex. This was...it was...and now I'm even more in love with her than I was before. And it's driving me insane."