Lay Down Your Guns

First Encounters

We all have that one friend. You'll know who I mean; the one who is overly sure of himself. The one who effortlessly has the girls in an orderly queue, and slowly picks his way through them one by one. The friend who plays with them, experiments with ther emotions. He burns them, they melt into him, and then he discards them like an unwanted toy; leaving them alone to deal with their ugly, glaring scar tissue. As awful as it sounds, we all like to see them fail; to see their own little world turn on its head as they realise with terrible shock that perhaps they arent really ladies' men after all. Maybe this satisfaction spawns from the jealousy of other, less successful men, but you all love it anyway. I mean, they're nothing but pricks right?

So yeah, we all have that one friend, however for the purpose of this story, I will single out one individual. His name is Paul Cunningham. He was a prick too, just like the others. And just like we all wanted, he failed. But unlike so many of the others, he learned something from his mistakes, and to say he learned what love is the hard way, is such a massive understatement that it's practically an insult.

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It all started with a simple, mundane day at the office.

Paul began his day at 7am with a quick shower and some left over noodles he'd brought home the previous night, before crossing the hall of this small flat to his roommate's bedroom. With extreme caution, he opened the door the absolute minimum amount, and still recoiled at the smell. Boys could be so messy, which brings us nicely to secret number one.

1) Make her feel at home.

The best way to entice a girl into your bedroom (and keep her there) is to make her feel relaxed, and keep the room totally, utterly aesthetically pleasing. It must be reasonably clean, though not so much so that it's immediately apparent that effort has been made (girls don't like to feel it has been your plan all along to get her into bed). Also, it must smell nice. From experience, Paul had learned that having an untimely smell lingering in the bedroom is the 4th biggest turn off for a girl; therefore, he always made sure that on the occasions where he planned to bring a girl home (which was often, and his success rate wasn't bad, mind you), his room was always lightly scented with his best cologne to give the room a sensual appeal with a manly feel.

"Gary! Up, now!" Paul yelled, braving his way further into the bedroom and throwing his shoe at his sleeping friend.

The reaction was rather comical, Gary gave a gigantic snort and promptly fell out of the bed with fright. Still half asleep, he ferreted around for a while on the floor before groggily picking up Paul's shoe and throwing it in what he thought was the latter's general direction, but was in fact, nowhere near. Paul didn't even flinch, which annoyed Gary even more.

"Go and annoy Jordan instead, you prick," Gary moaned.

"And since when does he ever come home after a night out? He's probably lying face down in a ditch somewhere," Paul countered.

"Or lying face down in a woman's breasts somewhere. He's even more of a whore than you!" Gary joked.

"I resent that!"

"Please tell me you have a good reason for disturbing my beauty sleep at such an ungodly hour. Why are you even up?" Gary asked in a sickly-sweet 'I am about to punch you in the face' tone.

"I got a job, to make money on my days off Uni, so that I can help pay for you to stay here and make a mess, remember? And YOU have a lecture in half an hour," Was Paul's reply.

"Paul... Seriously.... Do I look like I care?" Gary whined, gesturing to a mop of blonde hair splayed across the pillow on his bed.

A smirk found its way onto Paul's face as he surveyed the situation. As a matter of fact, Gary was more than a little underdressed, and upon noticing this, Paul found himself looking every where but his friend.

"So you had Lisa over last night." Paul stated casually.

"Obviously." Gary grinned.

"So you guys seem to be getting all serious and stuff..." He mused. "How long have you been together now?"

"9 months next Thursday," replied Gary with a goofy, lopsided grin as he glanced at the form of his sleeping girlfriend.

"Yikes dude! I'd get out while you can! Give it a few months and she'll be wanting babies and everything!" Paul exclaimed mockingly, though it was no secret that he himself was afraid of commitment, so Gary knew this statement held some truth in the man's mind.

"No, I will not 'get out while I can'. I love her and I, unlike you, understand the fact that love does not involve seeing how many different girls you can bring home in a week. It's about enjoying the company of one person and being there for them when they need you. It's not always about sex."

"Well that sounds very... Sensitive. Can i use that? Anyways I gotta go, bye lover boy!"

"Later, Jackass,"

And with that last comment, Paul left Gary Newman alone with his girlfriend. He walked down the hallway tutting to himself. With that funny, medium length mop of auburn hair and his ocean blue eyes that always looked so understanding and intense, Gary could pick up any girl he wanted, yet he'd stuck with one for so long. This was very peculiar indeed, Paul mused, scratching his chin.

Besides, Gary was only 23; a few months older than Paul himself, who was still 22, so why on earth would he want to be tied town so soon? Ok sure, Paul's comment about babies was a slight exaggeration (although you never know, pretty soon there might be mini Gary's knocking about), but surely it was only a matter of time before Lisa would want something more. That's what chicks do. They like to know the relationship is going somewhere, some much sooner than others, and Paul knew this from experience.

Her name was Georgia Livingstone and she was hot, though hilariously dim-witted. They had been together for 4 and a half months (Paul's longest attachment by far), when she forced him to endure the 'this is fun, but where are we going?" conversation. It was beyond excruciating, but nevertheless, Paul forced a smile upon his handsome face and pretended he wanted all the things that she did without showing any hint that he thought it was going too fast. He then hastened home to his humble little flat where he stopped answering her calls and pretended he wasn't home when she visited until the poor girl got the message. Harsh, maybe, but fear of commitment had scared the morality out of Paul long ago. She had even asked him to move in with her.

Maybe that's what Lisa would do when she and Gary finally got round to having that conversation (unless of course, they had already had it). She would ask Gary to move in with her, Paul would lose his roommate and best friend, and this time next year his house would be overrun by millions of tiny Garys and Lisas that he'd had to adopt when they couldn't afford the kids (neither of them had a job). To say the least, the thought made Paul slightly sick and was so consuming that he could hardly believe it when he glanced up to find the Manchester City Centre office block buildings in front of him. He brought himself back to reality and the sudden rush of noise from passing traffic and the smell of the Greggs opposite was just what Paul needed to fully wake up so he could do his job properly. After all, how would the workers function if he wasn't there to give them their daily fix of nibbles and coffee?

Paul made his way to one of the staff kitchens on the eleventh floor. An involuntary, fleeting smile crossed his face as he looked around the small elevator, thinking about how much he had always wanted to press every single button to annoy everyone. Pretty soon, Paul was seriously contemplating carrying out this tiny plan for his own amusement when the familiar ping echoed around the tiny box and the doors opened on the eleventh floor. He shrugged past two girls who were getting onto the lift, and then spun on his heel.

Jaw on the verge of dropping, and eyes popping out (probably on springs), Paul surveyed the woman on the left. Her black hair was sleek and straight and hung down past her shoulders and her hazel eyes had a certain spark to them. It was clear that her deep, red lipstick was there for the purpose of adding to her already huge sexual appeal. She wasn't all that curvy, but she certainly knew how to showcase what she did have. Her friend, however, Paul barely noticed. He saw that she was shy and dismissed any ideas he may have had.The doors closed with another ping as Paul smiled wickedly. He certainly knew what he was doing tonight.

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A/N: Hey!! So this is my new story, and I don't expect it to be all that popular, but if anyone reads it, I'd really appreciate some opinions. Thanks :)