WINGMEN

1: The Guy Downstairs

WINGMEN-A VALENTINE'S STORY

Modern Valentine's Day AU. Roped in to help her friend juggle three simultaneous dates on Valentine's Day, Astrid Hofferson finds herself opposite the cute guy from downstairs trying to have a civilised meal while chaos breaks out. Hiccstrid.

Disclaimer: I don't own How to train Your Dragon. Rights remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.

A/N: Valentine's Day-not my favourite holiday-and I suddenly had a vision of chaos. With Thorstons, 'ex's and two-timing all around...so enjoy.

oOo

The Guy Downstairs.

"Hello, Mulch's Pet Depot-how can I help you?"

Astrid Hofferson leaned her elbow on her desk and suppressed a sigh as old Mrs Bergstrom began a long rambling story about her Pekingese, Cecil, and his 'problem'. Idly, the blonde girl began to doodle on her pad, knowing exactly what would happen. The old lady would tell some long convoluted story about Cecil (who was actually female and amazingly horny and incontinent) and then order one medium bag of 'Bucket's Patented Complete Nutrition for Dogs-small breeds under 10kg' as she did every time.

"...so Cecil started peeing all over Mrs Forfang's leg and she was on her way to tea with the Mayor...not that Mayor Stoick would ever comment about it...he's such a nice man..."

"That sounds terrible," Astrid said brightly, her blue eyes sweeping over the clock. Another three hours and then she could go home, eat her ready meal and stare at the TV all evening. Hardly the life she had planned when she left High School two years earlier as the Homecoming Queen, Captain of the Track Team and girlfriend of the Football Captain. But the slime had dumped her when he got famous on the College Football Team and girls had been flinging themselves at him. Once he had dumped her, she had left her course because she had only taken it to be with him and quite frankly, she had hated it and she had returned home to find some mindless job while she was planning her next move. And here she still was, facing her second Valentine's Day with no boyfriend, almost no money and no prospects.

"He was very nice about it..." the old lady droned on and Astrid rolled her eyes, her beautiful face exasperated.

"Mrs Bergstrom, I'm afraid the switchboard is jammed today so Cecil's antics will have to wait for another day," she said professionally, cutting the old woman off. "You can tell me what she gets up to next time. Shall I put you down for a medium bag of 'Bucket's Special' again?"

The old woman's voice was disappointed but she was polite enough to acknowledge that her ten minute ramble was probably a little excessive for the purchase of a simple bag of dog food. "Of course, dear," she sighed. "You're always so patient with me."

"I'll drop it in myself on the way home," Astrid offered, feeling guilty and the old woman gave a grateful thanks before hanging up, allowing the blonde to pull off her headphones and stretch, her neck cracking at the motion. There was a thud as her co-worker slammed her head on the desk.

"You know you'll never get a guy like that," Raquel 'Ruffnut' Thorston groaned, her long face planted firmly on the desk. Her long hair was done in three fat braids, her grey eyes closed in disgust at Astrid's boyfriendlessness. Ruff was one half of the Thorston twins-pranksters extraordinaire and inseparable as it was possible to be. She still lived with her twin brother Terence 'Tuffnut', though she also had three boyfriends on the go and was planning a very complex Valentine's Day split between the three. And she was banking on Astrid to act as wingman and ensure she got to have her three Valentines Meals.