How have I strayed so far from everything I once knew.
I was having a meal with some friends recently and I found myself staring into the smiles of my company. How do they do it?
Smile without it being forced to be faked. I don't know when I became fuelled by negativity, it happens slowly. Nothing in particular comes to mind, I would have to depict my mind for years to pinpoint the shitty moment where my mind seemed to change how it functioned.
If it was as easy as one thing being the cause I think the world of science and psychiatry would have found a way to reprogram our fucked up settings by now, but no. The problem is we battle our way through all of the challenges we are faced with just for the tipping point to be something as stupid as missing a fucking bus before then having your first panic attack, no going back from then.
Slowly after this point the 'you' that you once knew has been swallowed up by the raging black hole that only you can feel but still cannot see or understand.
So now I am here, at this weird place where nothing in particular is very shitty, nothing except the inability to feel or regain the sense of self I once had, is that person even there? Or is the cynical remains of a once fulfilled and happy person the new me? I can't believe that I will feel nothing but everything all at once for ever, otherwise it's just admitting that you're brain dead.
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Double Knotted
Non-FictionNobody makes you run with a broken leg. So why am I expected to run through life with fifty bags of bullshit attaching themselves to my mind? because nobody can see or understand it. Mental Health disorders effects millions of people every year, it'...
