gasoline // danny's daughter & deuce's son

5.

as for me, my skin was a light tan color but i was still pale, if you wanted me to be honest with you; i had a few cuts from from the past and even now i still have stories and regrets etched into my ugly skin. nobody knows about the cuts but chase, he hasn't said anything which makes me happy and keeps my relief floating in the air most of the time.

my dad should never know, he'd be mad or crushed. he'd probably blame himself or send me away to a mental institution to 'get the help i so dearly need'

but i don't want any of it, or even want to think of it. it was my body and it was just another thing about it that i hated.

just like my eyes. my eyes were very very different, they made me feel insecure and out of place regardless of the compliments i would receive from family or even close close friends, only close close friends though.

it all didn't matter to me because one eye was brown and the other was blue.

you'd think it'd be cool since i had both my parents hues. but i have never wanted blue eyes nor brown, ive always wanted something different so i could stand out from everyone else.

but as you have been getting to know me, i hate myself. whereas, i hate the pigments that surround my pupils as well.

i hated everything about me from the get go so ive always admired ava, she's like a princess meanwhile im the princess of all garbage bags.

"yea, do you know where they're at, i need this shit off asap." she was pulling her long black lashes off as she answered my question from earlier.

i went looking for them, forgetting that i always kept them under my bed with all the other girly things that pissed me off.

as i realized i was at my door i groaned and turned around, walking over to the bed and bending over to retrieve the wipes we both needed.

"damn mah," she spoke slyly, she always thought she was slick.

i got up and threw her the bag of wipes after i got my own to wipe off the mess that was pasted on my small face.

"just wipe that off you don't need it." i smirked and started to wipe off the pink eye shadow that was cut off by silver glitter, the black wing was long, soon being cut off short from the contact from the refreshing wipe.

i always lived for this feeling, getting rid of paint. it felt nice when the coldness of the soaked paper touched my cheek, and wiping it off to feel the heat on my face replacing the skin that was once cold.

most people would think that's weird for enjoying that, some others would hate it since they would rather be permantly caked instead of showing what they're really made of.

some just enjoy the scent and temperature, some enjoy it because they like themselves.

for me, i just don't like wearing all the oily colors and greasy cover up. i dont like myself, nor do i hate myself. im not gay, or am i straight. im not odd, but im not weird. im not a boy, although im not a girl.

ya get the point? "you don't need it either. oh, you wanna know something weird about the school rules though?" she already had her fake eyelash extensions on my desk as half of her foundation and eye makeup was terminated, the wipe was almost covered in the tan tard.

i nodded and continued to rid of the pore clogging enemy, "so the basic rules that they mention on the first day is that you always come to school in uniform. there's no way around that rule but they fail to mention the loophole." her face was clear of any pimples or makeup, walking towards the london themed trash bin i had in the corner of my room towards my bedside table.

although she'd rid of the tard, it was soon replaced by a nasty smirk. i knew that whatever loophole she was about to spill to me wasn't the best, but ava being ava she always has and contains bad information, sometimes the advice she gives, she does. even if it's bad.

"what?" i felt a knot in my stomach, feeling a little uneasy and annoyed at whatever antic she had up her sleeve about a stupid uniform, "you can alter it. and the thing about altering, they can't do anything about it because you're following their number one rule."

"tell me a little more about this, how can you alter these outfits?" i was curious, which most likely is the one thing about me that's rare.

i don't wanna wear an orange button up with a yellow, black shield on the front of the polo pocket with a white skirt, folding at the bottoms.

i didn't like that, hell im pretty sure that i would never like or enjoy that even if you coarsed me to.

"okay so, most girls that don't like how long the skirt is, aka me, they lift them up a little higher than asked, and if you don't wanna tuck in your polo, then don't. if you don't wanna cover up any tattoos, they don't care. just as long as you're wearing the uniform." my mouth went into an 'oh' formation, catching no onto her knowledge.

"so as you walk up to the doors and into the classroom you can alter your uniform in any way and they can't do a thing about it?" she nodded as she scrolled through her twitter feed, "yea, and also because we're the love children of the precious celebrities they used to adore, hell they still adore them." she mumbled under her breath, a slight chuckle slipping from her lips.

"they're too scared to do anything to us. hell they're too afraid to write a detention because they don't wanna get exploited in tabloids." she was lighting a cigarette, she's smoked since she was fifteen, so at this point it's completely normal for me to see her intaking nicotine.

"really?" i laughed at the last part, adults with degrees and an education are scared of the people getting fame from dropping out, the infamous crimes or pregancies, even the people who didn't even make a full album, they were scared because of tabloids and slander.

"yep," taking a drag off her long, skinny newport. she didn't have to destroy herself, but yet again. i destroy myself by drinking my pain and sorrows away like its the only thing for me to do, or if it's the only redeeming quality i could actually perform.

"well that makes everything better for me." i closed my eyes and laid back down on my queen bed, taking a deep breath and started to think about how rules and teachers were like, how a time schedule was like. how everything about a normal teenage life was like.