Weakness is something exploited by enemies. They take the weakness of a person, discard their feelings and emotions, and replace it with their own feelings; feelings of hatred.
After the enemy is done hurting the other person, they feel a sense of accomplishment. But don't be fooled. That feeling of accomplishment only lasts for mere seconds, and then its converted into a feeling of guilt, a feeling of hatred towards themselves for crawling so low to hurt someone. To hurt a human being, a complex organism that feels pain in several ways.
This starts a loop of revenge. The person that was hurt by their enemy longs for them to feel the pain they did, and so they exploit the enemy's weakness. The worst part is they become equally as bad. The worst part is that there are other ways to solve problems other than playing with someone else's feelings. The worst part is that hatred towards enemies becomes the person's life, affecting their relationships, affecting their mental health and affecting their happiness.
I learnt that when I realized that calling Suzy dumber than a stick after she called me stupid back in third grade, affected her more than her insult affected me, making her cry. Although it was funny at first, the longer I watched the tears stream down her face, the more it made me hate myself.
I remember running into my mum's arms so fast. I hugged her tighter than usual as I explained the situation. I explained to her that I was a horrible person for doing that, yet how I didn't understand why such a small insult affected her so bad, even though she had practically called me the same thing.
My mother proceeded to explain to me how we don't know what someone is going through, and that we will never know why someone reacts the way they do if we don't do the simplest thing, and just ask. I never talked to Suzy after that, ignoring the situation as whole and putting it behind me, yet that girl continued to haunt me forever. She called me names at school, she glared at me whenever her eyes could find me, and hell she even tried to glue my ass on a chair once in middle school.
So one day, I wanted my own revenge. It was almost 3 weeks into senior year. Right before her cheer leading practice had ended, at 8 pm, I stole her car keys. She walked into that locker room with her friends, changed, and proceeded to leave the school, only realizing that her keys weren't in her bag when she had reached the car. She began to walk back into the school, oblivious of what I was going to do.
Point of the story is, I locked both of us in the school that day using the janitor's keys that I was also able to steal earlier that day.
I'd make a great thief, right?
Anyway, that night I discovered many things that I wasn't expecting. I discovered that I liked girls just as much as I like guys. I discovered that Suzy had a crush on me back in third grade. And I also discovered that the situation that had happened when we were younger, never left her mind just like it did mine.
After a lot of arguing, an accidental kiss, and a quiet sit down with the girl, I discovered that she was dyslexic. And that back then she struggled a lot at school, although by senior year, she had amazing grades.
You see, problems with enemies do get fixed. But that's not how I feel about who ever filmed me all broken down that day; that was someone exploiting my weakness, and so I plan to exploit theirs.
To continue that story, Suzy was actually not Suzy, her real name is Becky. One of my current best friends.
Now today I face a great issue, an issue that I don't want to face, afraid that it would ruin one of the greatest things in my life.
You see after that day, Becky and I slowly got closer, and so we dated, for like 2 months and then broke it off. I fell out of love with the girl, discovering that it wasn't love in first place, it was lust.
Becky took it better than I thought, confessing that she felt exactly the same. I have to admit, I was offended, but relieved. I was the reason a very closed girl came out, finally becoming who she wanted to be and dating who she wanted to date.
Now today, I am not that girl. Through the years my interest in girls had faded. I was no longer bisexual, I was just, straight. And that was okay. Sexuality changes, you can love who you want to love.
Now back to my problem, you see my issue is I'm holding a big secret. A secret that isn't mine. A secret that was someone else's, yet that person doesn't know that; and it is really weighing on my shoulders
What do I do now?
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i just wanted to say thank you guys so much for 5K! Woop Woop!
