Something

The First Part

So, I mean I've been hurt before. No doubt about it. Pain has entered, and some pain never left. The first one left me broken in a million pieces, the other girl never cared, and after that I kinda became a shattered ball of hopelessness, nothingness. Honestly I had lost all hope for myself. Parents were a mess, family was breaking apart, every night I was stopping arguements and holding someone that was crying. It was like clockwork, ya know? About 7:30 after my mom had her 5th beer or so she would toss dinner on the table, my dad would be upset and boom arguement. Brothers would join in, it would all be a pointless storm of crap. Some nights honestly there was nothing stopping me from not waking up the next day. Screw school, screw "friends", screw anybody who acted like they cared. Nobody cared. Honestly nobody ever worried about me or thought about me. I'm just me, nobody likes me. Nobody wants me. Me is replaceable and disposable. After a while summer started and things only went downhill. I was hopeless. Depressed and sad, not productive or willing to do anything. I was a big fat mess. And every night I thought about it.
Who would miss me?
Nobody.
Who wants me?
Nobody.
Who actually cares?
Nobody.
Yet day after day I struggled on, trying to be reasonable. Knowing someday, things would be better. I would be better.

So we're back at this writing thing. I honestly don't know why people like it so much, but some people probably don't know why I like math so much (speaking of I have a project due soon, ew). I have no clue about life. Honestly, I'm confused about 99.9% of things. Like girls? No way. Nope. I mean, girls are amazing. Alot of girls are understanding which isn't something alot of guys can say. I know alot of guys who are jerks.