Hey I'm Alice I'm almost 17 I spent the last month in the ward as everyone here calls it but it's properly known as the (home for the mentally Ill). Your probably wondering how I got here well let's start from the beginning.
3/17/2012
"Dad stop please"
I just sat there in the corner weeping as my dad or should I even call him that anymore pulls up his pants. He walked out of the room like he was the man and I all the sudden I spoke up.
"Your fucking pathetic"
He whipped his head to look straight in my eyes running towards me picked me up from the floor and wraps his hand around my neck. Seeing I'm a 80 pound 16 year old with anorexia he easily threw me onto the bed by my neck. My little sister laying on the bed basically paralyzed couldn't seem to do anything. But I can't blame her she has been getting raped by rob aka (dad) since she was 7. So as rob threw me on the bed screaming in my face spit flying out from his mouth onto me I cried scared he'd do the same to me. But no he did the usual like choking me and giving me a bloody lip. By now I was just used to it I kind of became numb to the pain. Seeing he's been doing this since my mom and him got together. I'm the oldest and my mom had me with this great guy name anthony but he sadly passed away. He wasn't the smartest he died from a heroin overdose. But he was a great dad. And about three years down the line Rob came along and they had my sister Sarrah about six months into dating. Kind of forcing them to stay together. It started out great until Sarrah turned about 1 and a half. I was only four at the time but I could see the way he looked at her he'd make her sleep in bed with him when Mum wasn't there. And change her when she didn't need to be. The whole time he was choking me on the bed that's all I could think about. How I could've stopped this if I mention something to Mum earlier. After the long beating I walked over to the mirror. Looking at myself just ashamed bleeding everywhere. I felt the tears run down my face The salt from them Kind of stung my cut but I didn't hate it.
3/20/2012
After a long stressful weekend we had to go back to school. I wasn't too mad but I also wasn't too thrilled I like School because I got to get away from my home life but I also hated it at times because who like school work. And I am not really a popular girl. All the popular girls have long beautiful blonde hair ,expensive clothes ,Nice shoes ,Long legs ,perfect skin just all-around beautiful. But me on the other hand I was about 5'4 chubbier I wore mostly black ripped jeans and band shirts with some vans. my hair was a short Bob kinda layered. I always had black winged eyeliner on. Most girls in our school would classify me as an emo or in the weirdo group. I see myself as a freak as well. As I strolled down the hall I passed so many judge mental people who didn't even care that I knew they were staring.
"Hey Alice" said my best friend since sixth grade Eric.
"Sup"
"Your looking a little rough today what happened"
"I'd rather not talk about it"
He grabbed my arm it kinda hurt because rob bruised me there but I tried to forget it. He pulled me into this semi dark conference room that the school doesn't use anymore.
"Hey you can tell me anything"
Took me about an hour to find the courage to talk about this with him.
"We missed two classes already let's just leave and I'll tell you"
"Okay let's go"
We drove in Eric's car to are favorite place to talk.we sat on the rocks in the blank field full of flowers. I sat there telling him my story as the sun slowly dimmed. While tears ran down my face he pulled my head to his shoulder. Playing with my hair telling me it's gonna be alright. I felt a tear hit my four head to look up and see him crying as well.
"Why are you crying"
"Your my best friend you don't deserve that your an amazing person"
"Oh well thanks but don't cry okay"
"Okay Alice"
I Wiped his tears with my sleeve and gave him a big hug.
" hey let's get out here and do something fun"
" Eric it's almost dinner time I need to be home"
" tell your parents your staying over a friends"
"Uhm okay I hope it works"
(Hey mom can I sleep over my friends tonight
Yeah of course be safe
I will thanks love you)
After I asked my mom we got in his car and he drove to the arcade at the beach. We played games for a while and then walked back to his car.
"No we aren't leaving we are gonna go lay on the sand I just need to grab a blanket"
"Okay"
So he grabbed the blanket and we found a spot on the sand where it was only us we laid there and talked for a while. It was dark now and there was basically no one there. He moved his hand it grabbed mine a tingle went up my arm and I was kinda nervous. He turned to look at me. He started moving his face closer to mine and placed his hand on my face and the next thing I knew he kissed me. It lasted a couple seconds until I pulled away.
"Hey what's wrong"
"Uhm I gotta go I'm sorry"
Before he could tell me not to go I ran the other way I didn't know where I was going just knew it was far from there. I felt something I haven't felt before and I wasn't ready for it. And that's when everything started to change.
