"Babeeeeeeeeeeee I'm hommmmeeeee" I declare as I entered the apartment
"In the kitchen"
"There's more groceries in the car, you can get those while I get started on dinner" I say dropping a few bags on the kitchen counter
Carlos walks up behind me and greets me with a gentle kiss on the side of my neck
"What's for dinner?"
"Babe really? It's Tuesday... Tacos duh"
"Oh yeah, I forgot" he said dryly
"What's wrong? Do you want something else? I ask him raising an eyebrow
"It's fine, didn't realize it was Tuesday. You know I love everything you make baby."
I eyed him suspiciously, but brushed it off the moment I saw him reaching for the bags of groceries on the counter
"NO! I quickly yell. He turned towards me burrowing his brows at my sudden outburst
"I mean, I'll put these away, just get the ones from the car"
The moment he slipped through the front door I stuffed the smallest bag into my purse hanging it on my purse rack in the bedroom.
"We really didn't need all this Zha" he says with a strained voice
"Babe! Why did you bring all of them at the same time. Are you trying to kill yourself?
"Hmph, I wasn't going to make two trips"
I ran over to him untangling the bags from his wrists and fingers which have become slightly pink and purple.
"So yeah, you got this Zha?" He asks eyeing the grocery bags all over the kitchen. "I'm about to hop in the shower"
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead babe. The tacos should be done by time you're out."
.
.
.
After devouring our delicious dinner we decided to pop in a movie and chill in the bed for the rest of the night.
"Babe"
"Los...?"
"CARLOS!!!" I yell this time
"WHAT Zha?" he yells back at me
"Why the hell are you yelling at me?"
"Did you not yell at me first?"
"Yeah... well... you we're ignoring me so I had to get your attention"
"I heard you the first time, but since you didn't continue I figured you had nothing important to say."
I scoff at his words. "I wouldn't call you without a reason Carlos..." I pause for a second, deciding whether or not to take advantage of this situation and initiate this well over due talk we so badly needed... The former won. "...But I really want to know why have you been so distant and rude to me lately... It's like you don't care anymore"
Silence
"Helloooo... Earth to Carlos." I say as I poke his arm
"It's nothing Zha, I've just been stressed about evaluations coming up. I don't mean to take it out on you babe" he says as he pulls me closer to him in a warm embrace placing light kisses on my temple.
"Oh... Okay, well don't let it stress you out baby, you will do great and they would be stupid not to promote you, you're one of the best even with everything that happened last month. You got this babe." I tilt my face up to his and receive a slow sweet kiss on my lips. I close my eyes as I bask in the current passion filling the room.
I slide my right hand slowly caressing his cheek as my left made its way to his jeans undoing the button when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist halting my progress.
"Not now baby." he mumbled against my lips. "I won't be able to function for you, I have too much on my mind. Maybe later?." he asks as disappointment is spread across my face
"But..." I barely get out before he interrupts me.
"Zha, don't fight me on this tonight okay?"
"Tonight?" I whisper more to myself.
"You haven't touched me in THREE WEEKS!" I announce a little bitter
"Stop being dramatic Zha, Three weeks is a bit exaggerated." he rolled his eyes as he rolled out of our bed
"I'm being dramatic?... Me?... Meeee? You're the one who always has some sorry excuse as to why you can't have sex with your GIRLFRIEND, it shouldn't be like this Carlos, I shouldn't have to beg you!" I yell starting to feel frustrated
"Yeah, you're right, it shouldn't have to be like this... I shouldn't have to be a sex toy and atm to you."
I gasp in shock at this revelation
"So this is how you feel about me?... That I'm using you for sex and money?"
He sighs
Silence
More silence...
"Wow, Carlos, I can't believe what I'm hearing... So is this how you've felt our whole relationship?" I ask as I follow him to the bathroom resting on the door frame
He walks right passed me bumping my shoulder along the way. No excuse me, No sorry, Nothing. He grabbed a plain white T-shirt from the dresser, slid on his black and white Adidas slides and threw on a matching baseball cap
"Where are you going? I asked arms folded across my chest. He didn't respond right away, and as I got ready to speak, he turns to face me.
"Out Zhavia... I'll be back... Whenever... Don't wait up" I stare at him mouth agape trying to process everthing that just transpired. Acting off impulse when he began to walk away I grabbed a hold of his shirt at the collar; stilling him
"What is going on with us Carlos? I don't like us like this. What did I do? Can we please just talk about this? Let me know something. It can't just be your job. Is it me? Am I the problem? You don't love me anymore? Please Carlos, it's killing me not knowing where we went wrong. Please..." I beg and plead for him to open up to me and tell me the truth and surprisingly not a tear fell from my eyes even though I'm dying on the inside
"I just want to get out of here. Give me some space Zha" he responded pulling my hands away from his body and then he left, crushing my heart into a million pieces.
I never even got the chance to tell him that I might be having his baby.
