Damon's Desire. Santana's Desire. Fanfic Book Series 1.

(Santana's Desire) Chapter 21 In my arms.

Santana's Desire 

Chapter 21 

In my arms

(After going to the hospital to see Lisa, Donnie's wife.)

After the hospital, Damon and I had a talk in bed. I had this offer from Donnie to work as a dance teacher for the young children at Dream Beat. I want it badly but whom am I kidding. I am not a skinny woman, I have a lot of writing to do. Not to mention my dear Damon. Once I start this job, I will become so busy. I do not know if he wants this to happen. I do not know how serious our relationship is. I love him and he is the only one for me. He says he loves me but I know that is all there is there. Just love. If a miracle would happen one day and I'm given my son back, will Damon be there for both of us? I do not want to ask him this just yet. I am worried he will run off. So we talked about me getting the job and doing it. He says he is ok with it. I just need to take it slow. I decided to start it after court with Dillon.  

Every time I have to go to court, something terrible happens. I don't want Dillon to find out that I have this job offer. He will make sure I don't some way some how. Damon of course promised me everything would end well for me. These promises make me nervous. He doesn't have kids and I don't know if he was ever engaged. Come to think of it, I do not know much of him. I mean I must know something about the man I love. I know there are a few old girlfriends that he obviously was or is scared to commit permanently also I quickly met his brother and friends also. 

I needed to know more about him before we sleep together again. I want him to tell me more about him on his own. I don't want to ask a list of questions like in the game we played a while back. It as to be his choice to open up and tell me more about his life and anything else I don't know.

We began this long make out session that I knew Damon wanted to lead to sex. I would too but I am not sure he will be at my side. Then there's this eerie feeling I get when he's over me or even excited enough to want to start sleeping with me. I feel like I am cheating or hiding something from him. What is that about? I have never been with anyone except Dillon and Damon. It just feels like I just broke up with Dillon. We have not been intimate willingly in years. I did sleep with Dillon after I had Shane but it was a couple of times. Shane was a few months old. My baby is three years old now. The last time I was with Damon was right before he left me that horrible morning. He pulled off and didn't return. I hate thinking of that day. It makes me hurt allover again.

I felt horrible stopping Damon knowing he was extremely hot and bothered but I couldn't sleep with him just because he wanted me to. Instead, we made out literally until we both fell asleep. I never saw Damon fall asleep before me. He was out cold. I held D's head between my breast and rubbed his head. Soon he was asleep. Last things he said was I love you and sorry for making me feel pressured to have sex with him. I let him know it wasn't that much of a big deal. I just wanted to take that slow. D kissed my neck and chin softly before resting his head on me to sleep. I don't think he knew he was going to sleep. If he did, I am sure he would want to look more manly about it. Men don't usually want to fall asleep cuddled in a woman's arms. I thought he looked adorable but he would say that was beyond embarrassing.

I fell asleep just scooting him down enough so his head could rest on my stomach. I had to move his dead weight around to get comfortable. D didn't get disturbed once.

When we woke up Damon looked shocked.

"What's wrong sleepy head?" I giggled.