Suicidal

Fearless

    Shaking.. the sharp blade running across my chest... sweat pouring down my hair and cheeks. I just couldn't handle it no longer. I couldn't take it anymore. If I were able to get away from this mess, I'd grab that opportunity right out of someone's hands. Vibrating.. teardrops forming in my eyes, hoping no one would notice. I dragged the knife across my throat.. slit it a little.. just a warm-up. My mind.. brain.. attempting to take control.. but my nerves.. they took over. I started making little cuts and scratches on my arms and legs, unsure what to do at this point. The blade.. thrashing into my skin, piercing the edge.. pain.. rattling across my body. All of a sudden, my mother storms in, shocked of what I was about to do... but I took action. My mother gasps as I swallow hardly, and I do it. After what seemed like hours, I finally did it. I take the knife, jam it into my chest area. My mom's last words: "Don't do it... don't.." and they start fading away. All my precious memories.. fading into the darkness. 

   I felt blank. No emotions, no expression. All I could see was complete darkness. Surrounded by it. I feel like I did the right thing. But.. did I actually do the right thing? Did I make a good choice?