The Subconscious Mind

one

Time. Something I have too much of these days. Much of my time is spent curled up on the window seat in the bedroom, gazing out at life on the outside. It must be nice to not have to long for the feeling of fresh air brushing skin. The only times I am able to step outside are when I'm traveling to and from school, a period of time which lasts all of fifteen minutes. It's enough to make me long for those fifteen minutes of each day that I feel free.
My days consist of a strict routine. Wake up. School. Home. Bed. There's not much that happens in between, just chores, homework, and dodging my mom's creepy boyfriend, who's taken it upon himself to keep his eyes glued to my tits. Luckily, he doesn't often spend the night here, choosing instead to come over just for beer and loud sex with my mom. Honestly, it's enough to scar me for life.
"P?" My mom peeks her head in. "Chris is gone, you can come out now." I glance over at her from my spot on the window seat.
"'Kay, be down in a sec."
My mom has good and bad days. Ever since my dad left us, she's drowned her sorrows in every wine cooler she could get her hands on. She met Chris while working at the local pub; he's a regular who loves to put on the old charm for just about any woman he lays his eyes on. He's a scumbag, hence the reason he can't keep his eyes off my tits. Well, my mom became smitten with him for some reason or another, and now I can't seem to get rid of him. I'm pretty sure he's banging the other waitress on my mom's shift, but she'll never believe that.
"P, can we talk now?" Mom peeks her head back into my room.
"What's up?" I ask, following her downstairs and into the living room.
She takes a seat on the couch and pats the spot next to her. I eye it warily, the couch is usually where Chris likes to do the deed, and I would rather not be anywhere near that. Mom seems to understand and shrugs, unbothered.
"Chris is going to be moving in here," she says.
"Say what."
"Well, we talked it over, and we think it would be better that way. You guys can get to know each other a bit better." She won't meet my eyes, making me think there's another reason. "Also I'm having his baby."
There it is.
I can feel my breath hitch in my throat and my body temperature rises. Here we go. I plop down heavily on the ground, head between my knees. At that moment, the door opens and in comes Chris.
"Hey roommate! Has Char told you the good news?" Chris sways, indicating his alcohol level.
I steady my breathing enough to raise my head and glare. "Mom, you can't be serious."
"I most certainly am. Chris is a part of the family now, you need to start treating him like one."
"Hell will freeze over before that happens." I can't stop the words from flowing out. "If you think I'm going to sit here and let this asshole walk into our lives, you've got another thing coming." I jump to my feet, swaying a little with a sickening feeling in my stomach. I can't let my anxiety get the better of me. I have to do this.
"Mom, Chris is never going to replace Dad." I say, trying to appeal to her soft side. "Please don't let this happen." Raking my fingers through my long brown hair, I try to keep my anger from bubbling over. Anything I say could be taken out on my mom later, and I need to keep that in mind. Chris also had a disgusting habit of swinging on my mom when something upset him.
"Now listen here, P," Chris leans down to my level, sneering my nickname. "We're a family now. And I'm not going to sit by and listen to you talk about me that way. It's time you learn some respect." And crack, I barely have time to react before I feel a sharp hand to my face. I can hear my mom gasp as I'm thrown backwards.
I can see Chris's satisfied smirk, and it's this that brings me to push past him, and head into the kitchen, grabbing my shoes along the way.
"Penny, where are you going?" I can tell she doesn't really care by the way she's remaining stationary on the couch. Who cares anyway, she made her choice.
"Away from here." Keeping my palm pressed to my sore cheek, I throw open the front door and head out into the night, ignoring the tightening of my chest. There's a reason I don't go
outside. And I'm about to face that reason.