The Potions Master's Daughter (Book Five)

Chapter 37

I started to cry, which blurred my vision considerably, but I as still able to block and cast spells, "You'll understand soon, you need to be here though."

I sat down on the couch and stopped fighting. His last spell, a stunning spell hit me square on and I flew back and hit eh opposite wall. I could've stopped myself, but the pain wasn't something I wanted to avoid.

He rushed over, pushing over the kids in his way, "I didn't mean to do that. Are you okay?"

I brushed the tears from my eyes and looked down at the blood gushing from my arm and nodded, "I'm fine, that felt good."

He bent down so he was looking me in the face and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, "Come on down, I'll get you a potion."

I shook my head, "I want to feel the pain. I'm okay, I'm sorry. I'll see you later."

With That I rushed up the stairs to my room, but not before I heard him yell, "What are all you dimwits doing still here? Show's over, you should have better things to do than watch us resolve some family issues."

I lay down on my bed and began to cry. I kept crying until I was fast asleep, completely forgetting about what Harry was going to go do tonight.

The next morning however I woke up with what seems to be a hangover, but I knew it was the starin of crying so much. I washed up the best I could and glanced at the clock. I had already missed breakfast but i was sure I could make it to my classes. I waited patiently for my friends to come through the portal to get their things before heading to class.

When they did come in Harry was looking very pleased with himself and Hermione was grinning behind him, "I did it," Harry told me.

"What did you do? Get to Hagrid's?"

He shook his head, "Well I did go to Hagrid, and Slughorn came down with me. Well one thing led to another, and after we had a funeral for Aragog we started to drink, and soon I asked for the memory for Dumbledore and I got it. I was going to go give it to Dumbledore as soon as he returns the note I left him, and I figured you should come too. I suspect he'll pull us from classes to talk, if it was really that important."

I nodded, "Wow that's fantastic Harry. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, but it seems like Dumbledore was right. You were really the right man to get the memory."

Harry was wrong however. Dumbledore did not pull us from classes that day. Instead I was left to suffer through a horrible headache and a load of pain from my arm the entire day. I refused the take any potions. I had learned to deal with pain long ago, when I was still in the care of my mother, and I wanted to feel something like that again. I had begun to feel things I didn't want to feel, and perhaps the pain would ground me.

I also had to suffer through Defense Against the Dark Arts with my father, and every student in the class seems to hear about what had gone down between the two of us in the Gryffindor common room. My friends had' approached me about it yet, but I knew it was just a matter of time before they tried to talk to me about it. In class he was nothing but nice to me, and no students dared make any comment on what had happened.

As I suspected Neville pulled me aside following D.A.D.A. as he came up from the greenhouse,s, "We need to talk."

I followed him to the Room of Requirement and allowed myself to sit on the couch next to him, "I'm sure you heard by now even if you were down with Sprout while it happened."

He chuckled, "yeah t news like a student fighting with her professor who is also her father in the Gryffindor common room tends to travel pretty quickly. I just want to know what that was all about, for real."

I put my head in my hands and groaned, "I have no idea. I am just starting to feel really trapped in my destiny and the role I'm supposed to play in this all. I guess I just want to feel something, and it's easier to feel something like anger or pain that strongly, so I just keep getting mad at everything. But also I'm fairly justified, because he's not telling me something."

"Maybe he's just keeping you safe though Jessica," Neville said softly.

"Oh I'm sure he thinks he's keeping me safe, I just don't want to be looked after."

"You're not used to being looked after Jessica. You haven't been looked after the way he looks after you for your entire life. THat doesn't mean you don't deserve to have someone care about you that much. He loves you a lot Jesica, and you should cut him some slack. He's got a lot going on too I know."

I nodded, "I know he does, and I know he doesn't get much recognition for what he's doing at all, which I hate. Sometimes it feels like Dumbledore is just using him, but I would never do that to him. That's why it's annoying when he won't tell me what's happening. He just doesn't feel as close to anymore."

"Are you sure you aren't just scared of losing him not to death but just how close you guys are, and you aren't really mad about him not telling you this one probably little thing?"

I sighed, "i guess that could be it. I am just used to everyone in my life leaving, I just can't have him leave too."

"He's not going to leave, and neither are any of us. I know I'd never leave you Jessica."

In the back of my mind there was a small voice telling me that as soon as I switched sides he was bound to pull back from tat promise, "I know Neville. I'd never leave you unless i really had to."

"You're going to be okay Jessica. There's only a little longer of all this, then Harry will defeat him and it'll all be over. Your father will be safe, and so will all your friends. You won't have the weight of protecting everyone on your shoulders anymore."

I put my head on his shoulder, "Thanks for talking to me Neville, I'm so glad I have you."

"I'm always yours."

I began to cry again.