alyssa
they brought me to an empty room. i've seen this place before, the same empty room only filled with a single table and two chairs, with a one-way window directly across from it.
"please, alyssa, have a seat."
i had nothing left to lose, i've lost everything i thought i had. i lost him. the boy i fell in love with, my first time for everything. my first kiss, my first love. i've lost my whole world and more. this is truly the end, and if it's not, i'll just end it myself.
i sat in the chair facing the window, and the detective cuffs me to the table. i sigh.
"so, we're going to have to go over a few questions. do you promise to tell nothing but the whole truth?"
i slightly nod, still remaining absolutely mute. not for long, i assume.
"how are you linked to the murder?" she asks. "and remember, i'm writing word-for-word. everything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law."
"okay. he tried to rape me. he had photos and videos of young women he raped and killed. he grabbed me, pinned me down and tried to victimize me. james was helping, he had to do it!" i place my arm on the table, flaunting the bruises from the fingerprints on my wrists. she pulls out a camera, and takes pictures of the bruises.
"that'll be needed for further investigation. are you aware of the crimes you committed?"
"robbery, homicide. the whole nine yards."
"i mean you. not james."
"don't you dare talk shit about him." i say, slamming my fist on the table. she shrugs, and chuckles a bit.
"i'm simply asking a question, Ms."
"then i have no idea what i'm involved in."
she continues to ask questions about my current mental state, and how i was feeling.
"how are you feeling now?"
"pretty shit, you cunt."
she kept going after that, trying to refrain from asking personal questions.
"perfect. i'll be right back." she smiles, "pleasant meeting you." with that, she walks away. she shuts the door behind her, and i fall asleep on the table after flipping her off aggressively.
i wake up to yet another detective walking in the room. he hands me a paper cup filled with water and i shrug. it was a nice gesture, really, i just didn't really care.
"i'm not a detective, i swear!" she chuckles.
shit.
"i just want to update you on the situation given. i'm your social worker, pleasant meeting you." she puts her hand out for me to shake, but i don't.
"where's james?"
"well, they found him sixteen miles away from your dad's trailer, closest to the nearest road. honey, james is dead."
he was more clever than this. he's alive and i know it, he's just changing himself. switching his name, changing his face and appearance. wow, how fucking clever. he'd never let SWAT find him dead.
i chuckle.
"if you think he's dead, think again." i burst into laughter. the social worker looks at the window, nodding.
"look, we're taking you to a mental hospital. it's safer for you there, and you can get help. you're completely innocent."
i clench my fists, i feel the blood rushing straight to my finger tips.
"you're putting me in a fucking looney bin?"
"well, if you think of it like that you'll always have a negative outlook on things trying to help you."
"i'm seventeen. i'll be eighteen in like three months."
"that doesn't matter. you'll just be on the adolescent unit."
"oh my fucking god." i sigh.
i stand up, the chair slams to the ground behind me. the table moves with me as i let go of anything i once had completely. i feel my fist slam fast on the right side of her face. she loses her balance and falls to the ground. i start laughing uncontrollably, kicking her in her ribs and throwing punches with the hand that isn't cuffed to the table at her chest and face. then i feel myself start to laugh even harder, and dance as i hurt her. i laugh through her screams, i laugh through the sound of the door slamming open, and i laugh through the sound of them telling me to stop.
four male security guards and two EMTs grab on to me and uncuff me from the table. i start throwing my fists at the security guards and the woman EMT. then they restrain me on a stretcher. they put restraints on my wrists and strap me down, wrapping a band around my stomach, which was the only thing holding me down to the stretcher. then on my legs, my feet and my chest.
i scream through it all.
"fuck you! let me go, you stupid cunts! fuck you! fuck off! you bloody rats!"
