Beyond My Control

Chapter 1

I was sitting at work day dreaming of Shay when her tall muscular frame leaned against my desk.

"Aurora, are we on for tomorrow?" Shay waved her hand in front of my face. Her blue eyes pierced me but yet she was oblivious to the fact that I was in love with her.

"Huh? What's tomorrow?" I stammered out pulling myself from my dream.

"Really? You don't know?" Shay leaned closer to me. I could smell her axe body spray.

I pretended to look at my calendar. "Ummmm....."

"It's my birthday." Shay laughed.

"Duh I knew that. I have something big for you." I smiled still not sure what to get her. Lacey was going to be there her fiancee. She doesn't care for me and I don't care for her. I knew I had to out do whatever Lacey was going to do.

"I can't wait." Shay smiled. " I know." I said as I watched her walk back to her desk.

"Girl are you going to tell her?" Lana asked.

"So I can be shot down? She's marrying Lacey." I whinned.

"Now's the time to tell her. Before it's too late." Lana smiled.

She was right. But how? I closed my eyes. I wish she just knew. Work passed and I headed home. Lance was sitting up watching television.

"Hey baby." He said as I walked in.

"Hi." I sounded a bit irritated.

"Bad day?" He asked as he flipped off the television and turned to me.

"Horrible. I forgot Shay's birthday party is tomorrow." I joined him on the couch as I leaned into his arms. Lance was my boyfriend but our relationship was open. He had other girls and he knew I am in love with Shay.

"Did you tell her?" He asked.

"No." I closed my eyes.

He leaned down kissing my forehead. Wiping a strand of hair from my face he smiled. "If you don't do it before the wedding you're never going to get the chance."

"I know." I pouted. "I'm afraid to be rejected."

"Babe, you afraid?" He scoffed.

"You don't get it." I leaned forward. "Shay and I have known each other for seventeen years. Seventeen long years and I was there through everything with her. What if she doesn't feel the same? Then I do it for nothing and lose my best friend." Tears swelled in the corner of my eyes.

Lance moved his hand up and down my back. "Maybe I can help you find a way to tell her."

"You would do that?" I looked back at him.

"Yes I would because I love you." He gave me a kiss.

I do love Lance but I could marry Shay. I felt my heart skip a beat when I realized what I had to get her. Lance slept soundly as I made calls after calls. See Shay loves the country singer Terri Clark, I knew that would beat whatever Lacey was getting her. I finally made my way to bed and was thrilled that I couldn't wait to see what Shay would do. Morning went by fast. I was hopping out of the shower when the door bell rang. I wrapped a towel around me as I went to answer it. There on the other side was Shay wearing a black vest, rainbow tie, with white dress shirt and black pants. She looked stunning.

"Please tell me your going to wear that?"Shay laughed.

"Oh you're funny!" I stepped back allowing her to come in. "I need to finish getting ready."

"It's cool we got time. Lacey has to pick up Charlize and Alexis." Shay said.

"I shouldn't be too much longer." I said as I went upstairs. "Lance should be back any minute."

"Okay." Shay said.

I went into the bedroom pulling out my black dress that stopped above the knee and had a slit up to the hip. Revealing yes but God it mad me feel sexy. I put my hair into a bun as I sprayed my perfume and added a thin line of eyeliner and some mascara to make my eyes pop. My lipstick was a soft warm red. Smiling I knew I looked hot. Shay was sitting on the couch with Lance. They stopped talking when they heard me coming down the stairs. They both turned and their jaws dropped.

"Wow you look absolutely gorgeous." Shay said as she blushed. She tried to hide it.

"Yes she does." Lance agreed.

I smiled. I got Shay's attention but why was she so blind to see that I was in love with her! “Are you ready?” I asked breaking the silence that overcame us.

“Yes.” Shay stood up and fixed her outfit. “Let's go.” Shay walked to the door.

Lance stood up and gave me a hug. “You got her attention.” He teased.

I followed Shay out to her truck. She opened the door for me and gave me her hand to help me get in. I loved how strong her arm felt as I put my weight on her and got in.

“Thanks you're such a gentleman.” I smiled at her.

She smiled back giving me that killer smile that made me go weak in the knees. The smile I first fell in love with but this time she was giving it to me, not someone else.

The ride was rather quiet. I noticed she kept looking over at me wanting to say something, for she opened her mouth then would close it. By the time we got to her party at Club Z Lacey was already there. I sighed as we got out and Lacey came over hugging Shay. Jealousy built up inside of me. Shay should be hugging me, not her. I watched as they kissed and Shay looked at me. I turned away as I walked inside and to the bar. I didn't see much of Shay that night. My heart aches but I sat at the bar drinking shots after shots.

Lana came over to join me. “What's up dollface?” She asked as she saw the look on my face.

“I haven't seen much of Shay.” I sighed. Why did I have to be on love with my best friend.

“You're killing it in that dress. Everyone has checked you out.” Lana smiled.

“I know but the only person I want to notice is Shay.” I turned to Lana. “I wish she could see that.”

“Tell her!” Lana said.

“You fucking whore!” Lacey shouted and stepped in between Lana and I.

“You're in love with her?” She slapped me across the face.

I stared at her in disbelief. I couldn't argue. I couldn't find my voice. Either way it was true I was in love with Shay Marie Hawkson. I wanted so bad to hit her back but knew I couldn't do that to Shay. I bite my tongue.

“Stay the hell away from her or I will be kicking your ass!” Lacey stared at me.

My heart broke as I bite my tongue and walked outside. Lana called me as I walked away. I stared at the sky wondering why I had to be in love with my best friend. What was God trying to prove? I borrowed someone's phone and called Lance.

“Can you come get me?” I asked.

“Sure babe. Are you okay?” He asked.

“We will talk when I see you.” I said softly and hung up.

Lance and his red jeep pulled up. Getting in I closed my eyes and cried. Lance placed his hand on knee. He moved his thumb trying to calm me. “What happened? Did Shay not accept your feelings?” He asked.

I managed to calm down as I said “Lacey overheard Lana and I talking. I got called a whore. Then she smacked me in the face. She said I'm suppose to leave Shay alone. How can i?” I asked.

“Where was Shay?” Lance asked.

“Don't know haven't seen much of her.” I sighed.

“I'm sorry.” Lance said softly as we pulled into the garage.

“I'm just going to go to bed and forget this happened.” I said as I got out and headed inside.

I didn't know what to do. I felt incomplete. I felt hurt. Does Shay know what happened? I stripped myself of my dress and washed the makeup off. I was for the first time heart broken. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up around me as I cried myself to sleep.