Dreamz Are Born To Die

*Alarm* 5:30 get up, its time to get up.Ok just 5 more minutes while I finish this dream. Where I'm loved and appreciated with a mouth full of gold, so many diamonds on my neck and my wrist even in summer you'd swear I was cold. Riding round in the finest ride. Shooting my shot and never miss. Loudest sound system leaving hoes no choice but to notice. The dream always ends the same. I'm standing on a dark stage then the bright lights come on and I'm greeted with screams. But screams of envy admiration and amazement. *ALARM*5:35 time to wake up, for real this time back to reality. I wake up and reach in my pocket in a hurry awaiting to pull out some of the money I filled it with in my dream, only to be greeted by lint and a old receipt. Young broke and black. Daddy died when I was younger all he left me with is stories of how much money he got in the streets selling crack. Apparently he got to much because somebody shot him dead before he could think about shooting back. Me and my little sister father less soul beaten battered ego and self worth badly bruised. Mom on the couch half naked still sleeping of the party from last night with some nigga I never seen before which is nothing new. Stepped over the condom wrappers half empty bottles of liquor and brew. The way she saw it she was still young and wasn't done partying. My only concern is making sure my little sister makes it to school. Have to take the long way today. All because this nigga in my class be talking like he got something to prove. Talking shit about my dirty clothes and two sizes too big hand me down beat up shoes. Said his uncle fucked my mom and he just might fuck too. Caught him at the bus stop and gave him the blues. Stomping him out just to make sure that he knew these beat up shoes was now beating him up. Determined to make his face and my shoes match. It's a great feeling making someone hurt how I hurt. Sharing my pain of a father 6 under dirt, a burnt out mother whose only idea of love involves her lifting her skirt. Got to little sis school dropped her off. I been said fuck school I can't eat a textbook for dinner. So I hit my stash spot to grab my pack of coke that a cousin fronted me. Only to find out it's missing somebody must have been watching while I stashed it and hit my pack. Run around the corner and grab my strap I need all that back! Looked for hours if I find this nigga a blown off head is his fate. But I cut it short sis getting out and I can't be late. It was the longest walk home. Angry and terrified. I get to the front door and hear screaming not the good kind I hear when I'm dreaming. Open the door it's a new nigga hands around moms neck bruised and bloodied. Trying to think of a smart calm move too bad I wasn't raised with that set of tools. Reaching for my waistband I got one tool that works tho. Doesn't take much thinking, a tool seemingly Taylor maid for sharing hurt. It was time to put somebody else's father in the dirt. I emptied the clip, because I loved my mom, even tho she never loved me back. Never loved my father just the money cars and clothes that he bought with the crack. 12 bullets put him to sleep, dreams of wealth love and admiration gone with a squeeze. As I stand there blood pooling I thought to myself I always knew this is how it would end who was I fooling, I'd be standing in this very spot my life ending with the pull of a trigger. Public defender charged as an adult because as we all no there's no age limit on nigger. Sentenced to spend the rest of my life in prison doomed to a purgatory of manhood. Not quite a boy not quite a man. First hour in niggas wild throwing hands. 14 years of knowledge at my disposal. I'll never have kids never make a proposal. First night in prison ready to go to sleep, I'm in my cell and locked in....I sleep but I don't dream anymore. I awake loud knocking.."5:30 time to get up"