"One more." I kept telling myself as I paced back in forth in my bedroom.
"Ethan?" A knock on my door startled me.
"Huh? What?" I asked, my door had been locked, I didn't need to get caught.
"It's dinner time hun. Why's the door locked?" It was my mother who hadn't a clue about what was going on with me. She just told me it would pass when I told her about school and what was going on there.
"I'm just doing something. I'll be down in a minute mom." I replied.
"Oh, okay hun." she said and then walked away. I sighed in relief and sat down on my bed, looking down at my arm. I couldn't do this anymore, I had to control myself, but my thoughts just took over. I put the blade away in my box and hide on the top shelf of my closet. I rolled down my sleeves as put on a hoodie. I walked downstairs and slipped on my shoes.
"Where are you going? It's dinner." asked my mom as she was about to sit down.
"Going out. I'll call you if I'm in trouble or out later than late. Love you." I replied and kissed her cheek.
"Can Grayson go with you? It'd make me feel a little better." I huffed.
"No. I don't wanna go." said Gray putting a green bean in his mouth.
"See. I'm leaving now." My mom sighed.
"Fine. I love you." she said.
"Love you too." and I walked out the door, putting my hood on and then walking to the park. It was a calm place for me, to remember when I was little and how easy life was. It was drizzling a bit, so no kids or families were here. I closed my eyes, taking in the sounds around me. The cars tires that were wet, zooming passed. The mist of the rain falling on my face as I looked up. I opened my eyes and the world seemed to stop. I pulled out my phone, taking the case off and revealing my blade. I pulled it out and put the case back on. I examined the blade and then rolled up my sleeve. I pressed the blade to my forearm and cut my wrist right on the vein, making blood come from the wound. I walked to a nearby tree and then sat there, resting my head against it. I closed my eyes and let it all happen. I was ready to be free and be gone.
***
I open my eyes, blinking a few times as the white lights hit me. I tried to sit up, feeling pain in my arm.
"Where am I?" I questioned. My mom stood up from her chair, her cheeks had tear stains on them, she looked like she had been crying for hours.
"You're in the hospital honey. You tried to kill yourself." she said and then I looked down at my arm, my wrist was wrapped up and I had hospital bracelets on.
"Where's Grayson?" I asked. I knew if I actually did it, he'd be the first to do something to himself if I died. I looked over at Grayson, sleeping on the couch.
"He hasn't left since he found out." said my mom playing with my hair.
"How long have I been out?" I asked.
"Three days. But we're going to get you the help you need Ethan. Why didn't you tell me this was happening? I could've helped." she replied.
"I tried. You just didn't understand."
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The chapter are going to be from different points of view so this first one is from the point of view of Ethan and then next will be from the point of view from the girl, Elisia. The chapters will alternate as the story goes on. Thanks
xoxo
~ Abbey
