Fall ❈ Benny Rodriguez

xi. sadness disease

　"Well," Benny said, "you know I do. Jamie!" He made his way into my house on his own, and I watched him go, shaking my head and smiling slightly.

　Brandy was watching him too, arms crossed over her white t-shirt, which was definitely Benny's. The image of them— I pushed it from my mind as quickly as possible. There had been a period in time when I had worn his clothes more frequently than I'd worn my own; just because she was wearing them didn't mean....

　"He's comfortable with your family," Brandy noted. Affection dripped from her tongue; there was no room for spite. Maybe she was just purely kind, but I could tell that she loved Benny. Loved him too much to state her discomfort, if it even existed.

　"Yeah," I chuckled, brushing the bangs back from my face. They were getting annoying now; I couldn't wait for them to grow a bit longer so that maybe they would stay behind my ear. "Well, there's a lot of history here. Plus, I just have that kind of family—where they kind of automatically start treating someone they like as family."

　Brandy's warm smile grew warmer. "That's kind of how my family is. But Benny isn't as comfortable around my family as he is yours."

　Speaking of comfortable; I hugged my arms around myself, trying to hide my discomfort. "I guess it's just because he knew them for a year before we left."

　She turned her smile on me then. There was a great warmth in her dark eyes, and it felt wise and strong. Without even really knowing her, I thought that perhaps I could relate with Brandy. Although we were basically opposites, we shared a few vital personality points. Ones that I could see in her eyes. She cared deeply and had limitless love; her heart was pure. And although our personalities clashed otherwise, I felt as though our hearts were the same.

　"Actually," Brandy whispered, "I think I'd like some pancakes. Only if it isn't a problem."

　"No problem at all."

　Before I could lead her inside, I slipped the jersey off as nonchalantly as I could manage. I slung it over my shoulder like a towel, flashed a guilty smile (although I hoped it didn't look guilty), and made my way through the opening and into the living room.

　The first thing that I noticed was Tessa's absence. Only a flash of panic pushed its way up my chest before I heard her baby giggles, from the kitchen. Brandy and I turned in that direction, only to find Benny standing at the sink, beside my mother, with Tessa in his arms.

　Tessa's golden curls gleamed in the sunlight that poured through the several kitchen windows, but the brightest thing of all was her smile—and Benny's. Her tiny fist was wrapped around his index finger, and the rest of his hand curled around her pale forearm. He was grinning like an idiot, leaning close to her face; his voice was high-pitched, and he had taken on a baby-speaking accent.

　A powerful, uncontrollable wave of warmth surged through my chest. For a brief moment, a fleeting thought crossed my mind—and I could easily imagine Benny as a father. He certainly worked well with babies; it was a natural instinct.

　"Aww!" Brandy pressed her folded hands over her heart, a smile lighting her face. "Oh, I missed her!"

　Benny, still holding the baby close, hand still wrapped around her tiny one, turned his head, directed a smile toward his girlfriend. Except his eyes didn't seem to land on Brandy first—but that was merely an accident. It had to be. I mean, he hadn't seen us before, so how was he to know which way to look? And—

　And I was overthinking it, this simple, stupid situation. As quickly as possible, I wiped the thoughts from my mind.

　"Say hi, baby," Benny said, in that same high-pitched baby talk. For a moment, my chest contracted at the final word, until Benny raised Tessa's hand with his finger and bobbed it toward us.