Beneath the Shadows

Chapter 1

I couldn't do it.

The corset felt too tight, the fabric of my dress too heavy to bear. I leaned against the door as I fought for every breath, my entire body screaming for me not to go through with this.

But I had no choice.

I never had.

This marriage was set in stone the day I was born, a contract signed and sealed by both his parents and my own. He had land, estates, a title--all of which fell flat compared to my own. The whole ordeal was a scam; he gained and gained from this union, whereas I was offered nothing but a gilded cage.

I shouldn't be surprised. After all, isn't this how it always went? I was forced to wed before I could be crowned queen, and even then my husband's voice would be louder than mine. My entire life had been leading up to this day; the choices that weren't mine to make, the things I wasn't allowed to do, to say. All of it had brought me here, minutes away from the aisle. And I had never dreaded it more.

The sheer curtains at my windows swayed on the summer breeze, the sweet scent of roses curling around my nostrils. Life--that has been my gift. But was this it? Was this the life I offered others, the life I inspired in nature?

It couldn't be.

I moved to the windows, my fingers tracing patterns on the flowers that hung from the walls. They brightened on instant, their flaws righted at once--not that they had any flaws to begin with. A flower was still a flower even if part of it weakened. Or at least my mother used to say so.

A knock came from the door, soft and hesitant. One of my ladies maids, no doubt. Come to whisk me away for the ceremony that would bind me to this palace--and Callan--forever.

''Princess Bay?'' Eline's soft voice circled the room like the song of a bird. She had always been the most gentle of the bunch. ''The ceremony is about to begin. Lord Callan is already on his way.''

A lump formed in my throat, closing my airway as my eyes burned. It was time; there was no escaping it. I was living the last minutes of my freedom, no matter how limited that freedom might be.

''I will be right there,'' my voice trembled but I pushed through, years of training at work. I sat down and my desk and scrambled for a pencil, the words dripping from me like blood from a wound.

Dear Ash,

My time has run out. From this day on the Summer and Spring Courts have an actual Prince to look over them, and everything I own will not be fully mine. If this is what wedding jitters feel like, I would wish for your solitude.

Anyhow, I hope you're well. I heard you got a new dog; my father was certainly spooked. You picked the right one.

Love always, Bay

I folded the note, letting the wind take it from my open hands, and took a deep breath. This was it, then.  

No going back.

I took a moment to regain myself; will my face into a mask of calm, of happiness. Plastered a smile on my face that felt uneasy, like it didn't belong. Because it didn't; I no longer did, either. I was drowning in flowers, in nature, in life. So much so that I no longer felt like I had a life of my own to account for, a purpose that did not revolve about something or someone else. 

I was an empty shell among the rocks, alike but not the same. Cohesive but not whole.

The click of the lock echoed through my ears as I opened the door, Eline waiting for me on the other side. her blonde hair took a red hue in the light of the sun, accentuating the freckles that dotted her skin like the splatter of paint. She wore a dress of the softest blue, like the sky bursting through a veil of puffy white clouds. Her beauty was downplayed, but she did not need to be accentuated to shine.

Her painted lips parted slightly as she looked me over, her eyes big in wonder. ''You look breath-taking.''

I barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes. It was father who had picked it, hand selected it from dozens of option from all around the Courts. The white fabric pooled at my feet, the skirts too big to fit through the doors. The sleeves were awkward and big--and thick. Who designs a wedding dress fit for winter in a region of eternal summer?

My shoes were too high, my hair curled into infinite loops. I wasn't beautiful, breath taking even less. I looked like a cake on feet, a prize for a winner who did nothing to win me over. 

Still, I forced my smile to be bigger as I said, ''Thank you, Eline. It means a lot.''

She opened her mouth to speak but I didn't hear as my eyes fell on the window behind her back, especially the white owl perched atop a thick branch in the tree.

A message. Ash.

Eline started to walk towards the stairs, her movement bringing me back to reality. 

From here, I could see the start of the aisle; see the pure white carpet laid out, the flowers and chairs leading up to the dais. My father stood at the doors, clad in his finest suit. His crown shimmered in the light--beauty and power, our strength and our weakness.

''My flower,'' he gasped as I descended the stairs. ''You are a vision to be cherished.''

I pressed my lips together but curled the corners into a smile. Sick--I was going to be sick. 

''Thanks, dad.'' I said. ''The decorations look lovely. Can I have a moment alone, please? To study them?''

His eyes narrowed on me, scanning my face. He dipped his chin and motioned for Eline to follow him outside, their backs turned towards me.

Breathe in, breathe out. I repeated the words like a mantra, clinging to my sanity for dear life. It was, after all, all I had left.

Something tapped on the glass doors to the gardens. My dress sighed and swayed as I turned, the white owl now sitting atop a bush. It couldn't be a coincidence.

Ash and I had been friends since birth, born only a year apart. While our parents met and argued about the future of our Courts we snuck away and played, the time for separation harder ever time it happened. We were split up years ago--so we started writing letters instead. His were delivered by owl, mine by fox. Sometimes they would show up even without the letters; how or why, I wasn't sure. But there was a comfort in knowing he was near. My best friend, perhaps even only friend. He would know what to do no matter what the problem was.

My feet acted before my brain could interfere, the soft sunlight warming my skin as I opened the door--but not to the dais.

The owl cooed, then flew away. I tracked it with my eyes, the bird circling high above the forest at the edge of our lands. This was no coincidence. There was something out there I needed to see, wedding be damned.

I cast a glance over my shoulder. On the other side of those doors, the guests were waiting for me, the bride of Spring. No one suspected a thing as I started to run, my heart hammering in my chest as adrenaline pumped through my veins--for me, this was for me.

Tall trees cast shadows over the high grass, cooling down the ground beneath. The heat no longer felt suffocating, my shoulders less heavy. Above my head, the owl continued its cooing. I followed the sound like a siren, a lighthouse to guide me safely to shore. 

The grass came up to my knees and twigs and thorns shred my dress to ribbons, but none of it mattered as I felt freedom at last. Soon they would start looking, the repercussions more severe than I could ever think of. But I refused to think about that now, not when I felt a real smile cross my lips for the first time in months.

The cooing grew louder the further I entered the woods, the owl now right above me. I looked around, spinning and panting in my place, until a ripple went through the air.

Behind me, a deep voice crooned, ''Don't you know it's rude to keep death waiting?''