A Second Chance

I Had Just Gotten Home...

I sigh and begin to tell Sandy what happened that put me in the state I'm in...

"I drove into the apartment complex. I've been away for a little over a month in England for a family reunion. I just got back and am heading to my room, D93. I can't wait to see Taylor. We've been together since our junior year at high school. This has been the longest I've been away from her since we started going out. I quickly grab my suitcase and run up to our apartment.

I unlock the door and leave my suitcase leaning against the wall and open the front pocket to pull out the engagement ring I bought for her I had been planning to marry her for a while now so I wanted to do it when I got back, to kind of prove to her I'd love her no matter what even if we weren't together that she was the only one in my mind.

I call for her: "Taylor I'm home!" I didn't hear anything. I thought that was weird, I mean I half expected my loving girlfriend to tackle me in a tight embrace. Concerned I walk to our room. And there she is! And I see she is crying and I don't know why she is crying.

I walk up to her and sit next to her and hide the ring in my back pocket. I look at her with a loving smile and I asked her-"Hey? Why are you crying? What's wrong?"
Instead of calming down she cries harder with each question I asked her.
"I'm so sorry Jack. I didn't mean to!" That's all I could make out from her mumbles.
I just looked at her and tried to comfort her and I asked her "What are you talking about, Tay?"
She took a big harsh breath in and looked me in the eyes, she looked really sad. I had never seen her like that.
"I'm so sorry Jack!" That's all she could say.

At this point you could imagine my confusion so I ask her: "What happened, what are you sorry about? I'm sure I'll forgive you, I mean I love you Taylor." She started to pull herself together. I though 'this is my chance' and I pull out my ring and kneel in front of her and I proposed. "Taylor I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life loving and protecting you. Will you marry me?"
And after I said that she started balling even harder.
Once she composed herself again she looked me in the eyes. I didn't know what to expect at this point. I just wanted her to say 'Yes'.

She stood up and took a big breath in. Then I got really scared, I had no idea what was going on. For a while I even thought I got her pregnant and that's why she was so scared. But then she told me what had happened. She said:
"Jack. I've fallen in love with someone else. I cheated on you while you were away. I'm so sorry."-I could hear the hurt in her voice. Sandy believe me when i say my heart shattered and I felt like I got sucker punched in the gut, I never felt anything that bad in my whole life.

Then after I let that sink in I asked her: "What are you talking about" I still couldn't believe what I was hearing. I mean I came in there getting ready to propose to her, and promise to be faithful and loving for the rest of our lives together and then she tells me she cheated on me when I was only gone a month!
I must have looked miserable because she told me again:
"I'm so sorry Jack. I do care about you, I really do. But I want to be with him now. I'm sorry, but I've fallen out of love with you. No I wouldn't marry you. "

I hadn't realized I stood up until she said she wouldn't marry me and my knees buckled and I fell to the floor on my hands and knees.
I felt like I got pushed off a cliff. I never felt like that before. Taylor got on her knees to hug me. I jerked away and got to my feet when she tried to touch me. I looked at her, and all I felt was that of disgust, fear, and complete disbelief.

Now I hate to say it but that's when I lost it and anger took over me. I yelled at her:
"DON'T TOUCH ME"- I couldn't believe what I was saying. I never yelled at anyone especially Taylor. Now I'm yelling right at her face. "HOW COULD YOU!" The whole time I was thinking how could I just say that? I was afraid of what was happening to me?
"Jack please let me explain!" She said.
"NO! I don't want to hear it!" That's the last thing I said before I walk out of the room leaving her in our room shocked and probably crying. I grab my suitcase from the wall and storm out the door. I got in my car and opened the door and threw my suitcase to the back seat. I sped off with no place in mind. I drove for about twenty minutes till I got near the woodlands and I drove off the road into the wilderness.
I shut the car off and stepped out. I let out a grunt and threw my phone from my pocket into a big tree breaking it in half.

In all the rage I yelled: "Ugh! What have I done!?" I get on the roof of my car and just sit there thinking to myself 'it can't get any worse.' After a while it begins to rain and after siting out in the cold rain for what felt hour I decide its time to go. I whole time I was there I thought about what I was gonna do. My whole life revolved around her now she's gone and I have to rewrite my life's plan. On the way to your house I thought out my plan:

I'll transfer out of the college I'm enrolled at right now so I don't have to see Taylor everyday. Then I'll move to the one of the colleges I got accepted in for my Hockey skills, but I'll choose the one that's farthest away from here. (That would be that college up in Norway.) With that I'll start over. Then I can get over Taylor and move on with my life and hopefully find someone who will make me feel better than how Tay made me feel. I really hope this works, that's why I came to you. I hope you don't think me a coward for running away..... because I intend to fix this situation by starting over this is the only way I could think of." The whole time I was telling Sandy about what happened and pouring my frustration out, I had my hands is fist so tight my knuckles were white.

There was a moment of silence, then Sandy grabbed the legal pad from my lap and slowly (like he was thinking about what to write) started to write. I just kept my head down and rubbed the bridge of my nose.