Wonderlust

Lotus// Revealing Me

In a garden full of roses,

I am a lotus-

covered in mud and dirt,

laced with vines of insecurities.

I am beautiful but

I do not see it in the

murky waters that reflect me

instead, there's Medusa with

vines for snakes and ambers for stone.

I have petals of pink

that turn purple creeping

like deoxygenated veins

because of fear

and anxiety.

I am stubborn like the roots

of mine grounded in the

thick layers of dark ego.

The only way to uproot me

is to let my petals fall;

let the destructive ticking time bomb

countdown

or if my stems are knifed,

slashed.

I run and I hide,

I take my time to blossom and

take a chance;

And when I do,

I bare my soul,

an open book;

petals wide open to

touch,

tickle,

hold,

caress,

to get hurt ultimately,

intentionally

because that is just how sick I am.

I like the flames of pain

that licks my cheeks

and all the salty sap that rolls of it.

I am delicate and sadistic and a siren

to myself and others

that calls out to bees advertising honey

when they truly harvest poison;

an outbreak to heartbreak.

Words pour out of me like thick sugar in my arteries

and gunpowder in my veins.

I am confident and breakable all rolled in one

as the tips of my petals curl up

with the sun dipping in.

I am changing like the moon,

shadows growing,

casted over the pink,

welcoming monochrome

under with the arms of the devil.

I am fireworks in a black hole.

A bittersweet wine that choked the one person

I loved drowning in my waters,

turning into stone.

Medusa. It's true.

I am you.

but doesn't Medusa deserve better too?

Doesn't she deserve blue?

Wouldn't I deserve blue if I clear the murk

and I finally see how beautiful I am-

If I vacuum the black hole

leaving hours of endless fireworks

sparking of my skin?

I guess only time will tell because

my roots were sliced,

my stem was broken into two,

my petals were caressed and I was told to run,

into the wilderness and I did.

Maybe it's about time Medusa blew your mind, Blue.