Angels {Oumami AU}

[#2] The Plan

*Please be advised that this book contains a lot of mature content. It deals with a lot of sensitive topics (listed in desc) and should not be read by someone who may feel uncomfortable by any of these issues.

Rantaro and I walk off in our separate directions. Him to the drug store and me to my home. I ignore all the things people yell at me as I walk, they'll be gone soon enough. Soon it'll just be us, just Rantaro and I.

I think about how to spend the last few hours of my so-called "life". I decide to just binge watch some shows on netflix. I can't be bothered to do much else. It's not like I have anyone to say goodbye to anyways. Rantaro's the only one who ever cared. It's just a matter of time, soon we can be together, my love.

Time goes by slower than I could have imagined. Sure, I was afraid. I mean I'm about to end my own life. But I'm excited too, I'll finally be free. No more pain, no more suffering, I can just be with the man I love. Even if that means I have to kill myself to get there, I'll do it.

I think back to what he said to me what felt like ages ago. I tremble at the thought of his words.
"I know, it's a big risk. But you're a risk I'm willing to take, if you're willing to take me."
He trusts me, he has faith in me. So why am I so scared? Why the fuck do I have to be afraid? I should believe in him, as he does in me.

I take a deep breath and convince myself it's okay. This was a big decision, and he's willing to make it with me. There's no reason to be afraid. At 2:30 I start heading to our spot, struggling to walk through the dark. All lights outside are off at this point, not that it matters. We've met here a million times now, I could walk there blindfolded.

When I arrive he's already there. He has the remainder of the glass of water I gave him earlier and two pills in his hand. He smiles and waves to me.
"Hey, Kokichi! Are you sure you still want to do this?"
"Y-yeah. You believe in me so, I'm going to believe in you."

I somewhat motivate myself with my words, reassuring myself for the final time that it will be okay. He hands me one of the pills.
"Here, I'll take mine first. Then you can believe me. I have no reason not to go through with this, unless you don't."

I watch as he pops a pill in his mouth and swallows a mouthful of water. He then hands me the glass. I take a sip of water with the pill, trembling as the capsule makes it's way down my throat.
"They'll take about half an hour to kick in, there's no turning back now."

I feel Rantaro intertwine his fingers with mine. This is it, we're really doing it. We're finally gonna be free. I smile and wrap my arms around him, feeling a few tears escaping from my eyes.
"Rantaro I love you so much. I'm so glad we can finally escape this world together. I mean yeah I'm terrified but I'm also so incredibly excited. We're finally gonna be free from all the pain, all the fear, all the nights hiding together, waiting to just be seen as humans."

He smiles and we both lay down on the ground together. I stare up at the sky, mind overflowing with thoughts. He senses my worry snd tightens his grip on my hand. I smile.
"Rantaro... ca-can I ask you something..?"
"Yeah? Is something wrong?"
"Well it's just... what if I never see you in the afterlife? Or if I do but we can't touch each other? W-what if.. nevermind. It's silly"

I sigh, closing my eyes. He goes to speak but stops himself. He then thinks for a moment and decides to speak up.
"I'm sure it's not! What is it?"
"Well I-I was just afraid that I'd never be able to kiss you in the after life, I-I've always wanted too.. heh I sound stupid. Sorry."

I feel my cheeks heat up. I shouldn't have said anything, I'm so stupid. His eyes fix themselves on mine, gleaming with joy. He scratches the back of his neck.
"I thought I was the only one, in that case."

He sits up and I instinctively do the same. I feel myself tremble as his face nears mine. I never would have imagined our first kiss like this, on the verge of death. Suddenly I feel his soft lips against mine and it's as if I'm caught in a trance. I'm weakened by his touch and my body feels as if it has lost all form. This sensation lasted for what felt like far too short, him pulling back to catch his breath.

I feel strange tingling sensation throughout my body. He always gets me like this. I'm the puppet and he's the strings. I look up at him, the two of us smiling.
"How much time do we have?"
"About 10 minutes, what do you want to do until then?"

I think for a moment, I'd be happy doing anything as long as it was with him. We only have 10 minutes so there aren't many options. I sigh.
"Do you wanna just lay here and wait it out?"
"Sounds like a plan."

He gave me a reassuring nod and we both sat down on the ground, talking about whatever for the next 10 minutes or so. After this period of time I start to feel tired and nauseous. As my body collapses I notice something, Rantaro seems unaffected. He looks down at me, placing his index finger in his mouth. He pulls something small and round that I can't recognize as my vision has started to blur and he's a couple metres away.

He slowly works his way towards me and shows me the blue capsule. I feel a sharp pain in my heart. He didn't take it..? He places his left foot on my stomach, smirking.
"You know, Kokichi. I never did love you."

At this moment I feel a sudden calmness echo through my body as my heart beat stops and my life fades away. Maybe he'll love me in another life.