Addict With A Pen

sometimes

sometimes i wonder why im not dead already.
other times i look up at the sky.
blue,
splattered with white clouds,
like sea foam on a wave,
and i realise
i would miss these bright days
with the shining sun
falling behind me.
sometimes i wonder why i keep living.
other times i look forward.
green,
healthy trees,
with small red flowers
carefully placed as if they were painted,
and i realise
theres more to life than just floating through time.
theres breathing,
the crisp, cold air of a winter night,
the warm, humid air of a summer's day,
the scent of freshly cut grass mingling with the falling rain.
theres seeing,
butterflies resting on the grass,
trees standing tall and strong when you cant,
clouds dropping their tears when you dont have the chance to.
theres holding someone close to you when they need it, even if you can barely pick yourself up.
theres the tingly feeling you get when you hold their hand tightly and they squeeze harder to reassure you.
theres getting a compliment when you least expect it.
theres giving someone something theyve wanted for a while and seeing pure joy on their face.
sometimes i wonder if i deserve to live on this planet.
other times i realise that the world is shitty,
and maybe the world doesnt deserve me.