What Is And What Should Never Be

Chapter 5: Everything Hurts So Much

At 5 pm Toby told Spencer he had to leave because he had the later shift that day, he didn't want to, bit he didn't really have a choice and she understood that, she just thanked him for staying as long as he did and told him not to worry about her, assuring she'd be fine.

Which was a hard for Toby to believe, although in his defense he had spend the last 3 hours holding her as she balled her eyes out.

At around 5:30 Spencer heard a knock on her door, she went to see who it was, she had no tears to worry about anymore, she had let it all out when Toby was here.

Once she opened the door she saw her best friends Emily, Alison and Hanna standing there, she smiled at them and then remembered what a bitch she was to them earlier today.

"Oh guys i totally forgot about today, im so sorry, i was so rude and-"

"No no Spence its okay, were mot mad at you" Emily said

"You're not?"

"Of course not, there was clearly something bothering you, we are just worried about what it is" Hanna said

"Well umm- come on in" Spencer said stepping aside to let them all in, all of her friends took a spot on the couch, spencer sat in a chair across from them

"I need to tell you guys something, i didn't tell you before because i didn't know if Toby would be comfortable with it, but i just talked to him and he said it was okay so ummm"

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Alison asked

"Yeah you could say that"

"Spence if you don't wanna tell us, that's okay" Hanna said

"I think i need to, i- i just, i need you guys, i spend the last 3 hours in the other room with Toby crying, straight on the whole time and i really think that helped and i- i need to talk to you guys about it too, but its important for you to know what she did to tobg"

"She? The evil twin?" Hanna asked, Spencer nodded

"What did she do to Toby?!" Emily continued worried

"She- pretended to be me and she- she slept with him" she said slowly as a few more tears fell down her cheeks

"Oh my god"

"That's terrible"

"How dare she!?"

"I just don't think im over it, you know, everything that haopeed, i haven't gotten over it and im having such a hard time and-" Spencer had to stop herself from continuing because she was sobbing hysterically mow, all 3 of the other girls went over to her and wrapped their arms around the crying girl

"Spence its okay homey you don't have to be over it already, its only been a couple of days" Emily started in an attempt to calm her down

"Yeah, you have a every right to be a little scared or a little upset for a while longer, hell after everything you've been through you should probably have a life pass on this things" Hanna said trying to lighten up the mood

"Thank you guys, i just think i need to talk about it"

"Well we're always here for you" Ali reassured her

"Can i tell you something else sibcerally?"

"Yes"

"Of course"

"Anything"

"Can you promise me you won't feel bad?"

"Yeah, Spence its alright you can tell us anything" Emily said

"I don't wanna make you feel bad or guilty or anything but im- im just really hurt that- umm" Spencer started but stopped talking slowly as if regretting the sentence she was about to begin

"That no one realized it wasn't you" Hanna finished for her

"Yeah, im sorry i just, you know what i shouldn't have mention, its just-"

"No Spencer you're right, you should be mad at us, we should be know, everybody should be know"

"No, no you see that not what i meant and im not mad at you guys or anyone, really i understand, we have the same face, its uncanny, I've seen it, it just, im a little worried that if she ever comes back nobody will be able to tell and i just it makes me feel really- like really"

"Say it Spencer its alright"

"It makes me feel so worthless to think that i could be replaced like that and no one would notice and there's nothing i can ever do to change what happened to i really don't how to get over this and it hurts so much, everything just hurts and i just want it to stop and i don't know how" Spencer continued breaking into more sobs than before

Her best friends understood exactly what she meant, they were still pretty mad at themselves for not recognizing Alex and they really wanted to help their real friend, but she had a point, how could she change those feelings if the worst case scenario had already been proven right? Alex had replaced her and everybody had brought, well except Jenna which is actually kind of worse in a way, all Hanna, Em and Ali wanted to do was help Spencer but they didn't know how, so they just hugged her, and they planned to stay in that hug as long as Spencer needed them to be.

Hi this is marked as finished even though this isn't really the end and im sorry for that but honestly I don't think I will ever finish it, I wrote this in 2017 when I loved PLL but since then every time I remember it it just makes me angry cause I really hated the ending so I don't think I can ever be in a place where I wanna write PLL fanfic again, sorry!