I have lived many places. I have lived in New baden,wich is in illinois, i have lived in california, oklahoma, and i have lived in alot of illinois. Many people dont know my travel history because i dont feel like telling. Moving has always been hard,im not good at being the new kid. People see me as this girl who likes talking to people they see me as an extrovert. Im actually shy i dont talk to new people and i hate being new. Im not as energetic as i show. I put up walls i show a fake smile. On the inside i am dying slowly. Peice by peice im falling apart. Im the only one who knows that. Im the only one i show it to. Im not to the extent of suicide or self harm but ive had impulses. But i hold back that would break the mirage it would ruin everything. People kill themselves over bullying but i go through way worse and i hide it. My friends only know half the story of my life. They know i think of myself as a failure. But they dont know that i think of myself worthless they dont know that i dream of myself dying and nobody caring. Sometimes there are things i cant handle and i go in my room and cry. I need someone to understand that i have to find and lose myself and if i be a bitch its because i am going through a time of hardship and hatred. I dont hate you and im not mad at you i just cant handle anything else. I thank my friends everyday for being there for me i really appreciate it..
