TEARS FROM THE MOON

Chapter 13.

I found myself nodding again, before letting out a croaky yes to her.

"Right then, so do you think you can make the allotted appointment?".   She asked.

Yes......yes defiantly".  I enthused.

"Good........well there's nothing more I can tell you except...... well good luck and I hope it all goes well for you".   She said, sounding more cheerily than she had of done during most of the conversation. Although I could not help but to think that this was all just part of a very well rehearsed speech that she had probably done a dozen times today already.
The only difference being the time, the day and possibly the name of the driver. I was more than likely just one name in a hundred that she had to deal with and the number I had held  so proudly  in my possession for almost a week was just a contact number............not Alan Rickman's  personal contact number like he had led me to believe it was!
How could I have been so stupid!

I suddenly felt very flat.
The excitement that I should now have been feeling at the news of my impending audition had ebbed away and I felt saddened and disillusioned.

"Thanks".  I spoke into the phone rather quietly and in a tone reminiscent of somebody who had just failed to get an audition rather than someone who had.
The woman on the other end of the phone must have thought me very odd.  But as I heard the click of the receiver  going down followed by the sound of the dialling tone in my ear, I didn't really care.

Leaning back in my seat I gave out a big sigh.
What was I actually thinking, believing that Alan Rickman thought enough of me to give me his personal phone number?
And why was it bothering me so much that he in fact hadn't?
This was so very strange.

Well, at least I had got a screen test, so he must have worked something out..................along with countless others I shouldn't wonder.

I shook my head in annoyance with myself.

Get a grip Gwen!
What is the matter with you?
Why would I be anything special to someone like Alan Rickman?
Shouldn't I just be grateful for what he had done for me without trying to read more into it all the while?

I mean........for goodness sake......grow up!

He's  a well known celebrity,  respected throughout the industry for his immense film and stage work.
He attends award ceremonies, film premieres, festivals and galas. His friends are no doubt other film stars and they would eat together in fancy restaurants and have dinner in each others house's.
People, like myself wait out in the cold and in the rain for hours on end just to get his autograph as if we don't have much else to do, whilst he has people around him to organise his day for him.

People like him would not give people like me their personal phone number.
End of.
It just would not happen.

Anyway, why was I letting it bother me so much.
I don't even like him!

I hated the British weather.
I mean REALLY hated it!
Here I was standing outside Crockets Bar having spent the best part of twenty minutes looking for the infernal place in the pouring rain, only to have passed by it a million times because I was looking for something bigger.

It was a tiny, little place about half the size of José's  and it had also rained from the minute I had stepped outside the door of the flat.
I was not happy.
Good job I had left in plenty of time!
As it was I still had five minutes to spare as I huddled underneath my small umbrella and thanked myself for always remembering to carry it with me in my bag.
I had also started to shiver. If I hadn't of spent so much time searching for the dammed place I was now standing outside of, I could have been actually inside it sipping at a warming hot cup of coffee instead of being out here and feeling the cold.
But if I were to go inside now, as sure as anything my lift would arrive and I just couldn't take the chance of it driving away because I hadn't been bothered to be waiting outside at the time of its arrival.