Holy shit. What happened to you?

p r o l o g u e

It's the first day of junior year, which is pretty exciting because I'm now one step closer to graduation which means I'm nearing to the time where I finally get to leave the country. The hallways are buzzing like always, there are a lot of different faces here and there that I have never seen before; I can clearly tell that they are freshmen.

I remembered the time when I was a freshman. It was the most difficult time of my life, I felt nothing but loneliness and sadness because a year before highschool I lost my childhood best friend, I saw it coming, I saw him slipping away and I didn't do anything about it because I'm a coward.

Harrison Blackwood. Him and I were really close when we were little.

I remember the first time I saw him. I was just a little girl who knew nothing about everything, It was a sunny day outside, so I figured that it was a great time to go to the front yard and play with my pet bunny.

I tried to get her to eat the skittles that I kindly put on my palm for her, but she didn't even bat an eye at it, I was getting super frustrated, but then I saw a small blue pick-up truck followed with a big white truck parked right in front of my house, that could mean one thing, new neighbor!

I was so excited but terrified at the same time when I saw the window car rolled opened for the first time, I was greeted with a sight of a man with blonde hair and brown eyes, a bushy beard neatly decorated his frame. Next to him I saw a blonde woman with a stylish hair and a nice blue dress.

This is it, I hope they had a child my age, I thought to myself.

I'm not going to be alone again.

I was never the brave one in the family, that's my sister. Yep, I do have a sister, sisters in fact. They're twins and from how they dressed and carried themselves you can tell that they have a place in the school higher hierarchy, unlike me. I'm more of a weird and awkward person, I don't really know how to start a conversation there for I didn't have many friends—people think that I'm a freak.

My heart was beating super fast, I crossed my fingers and chanted "please be a kid" under my breath.

Then I saw him stepping out of the car. A boy my age, His messy golden hair shone under the sunlight, his blue eyes glittered behind his gigantic glasses, nose was red as cherry.

Yes.

Then I realized that he was crying and shouting things that I couldn't catch because of his heavy accent, he was yelling at a teenager no older than 15 with the exact same features as him—brother, I thought. I was so interested at the scene in front of me I didn't even realize that Lily—my pet bunny, was running away from me back to her house, but I didn't care to get her back.

His mum came into view, then his dad and the next thing I saw was him running away from his family. His dad attempted to chase after him, but his mum stopped him.

I saw his figure grew smaller. The only thing that crossed my mind was 'what if he gets lost?' without a second thought I ran to the garage to get my bicycle and speed towards the boy.

I saw him entering the small woods a couple blocks from our house. It wasn't an unfamiliar place for me. I went there every Friday evening to talk to the trees, I quickly dropped my bike and sprint towards him. Sensing there's someone following him, he finally stopped running, and sharply turned his back, ready to snap, thinking it was one of his family.

"I'm sorry" I blurted out. "I saw you ran away, and I decided to follow you so that you won't —I'm sorry" I finished lamely as my face grew hot.

The boy didn't say anything, he just looked at me in disbelieve. None of us said a word, turns out I'm not the only one who find it hard to talk to new people "I'm Alexandra, I, um, a, I'm... your neighbor. Hi" I introduced myself looking anywhere but at him.

"Harrison"

I braved myself and decided to look straight into his eyes, only to find that he's looking into mine.

"Cool name" I blurted

"Thank you?" He answered in his thick accent, rubbing his glasses against the fabric of his shirt as his wet eyes kept throwing me a questioning glance.

"You want Skittles?"

And that's when his questioning stare morphed into amusement.

"I was told not to take candy from strangers" He said, his frown morphed into a small smile.

Since that day we became friends, and that woods became our place, we went there every day after school. My mum was very happy when she noticed that her last child finally managed to get herself a friend, she treasured every moment I had with Harry in a small pocket camera, and we would always ran away from her—from the camera, acting angry but we secretly love it, we would find our self near the lake in the woods.

That is until something so terrible happened to his family back in Australia.

We were 13 when it happened, news channels around the world are talking about the Australian bush fire, Harry unfortunately lost some relatives to that bush fire. His family decided that it was a wise choice to go back to Australia, and help. I was so heartbroken by the news and so was Harry.

That was the day that harry started to slip away.

I saw them packing their belongings, but I didn't saw Harry. I want to comfort him, I tried to comfort him, but he pushed me away. So I thought 'maybe he just need sometime alone' so I stayed away. I saw him leave the neighborhood. I didn't get the chance to say good bye.

It was my fault, I felt too much and I cared too much that I'm afraid to take action. I should've been there with him but I didn't and he probably hate me now to the point where he didn't even bothered to say goodbye.

Time ran fast. Suddenly I found myself standing in front of a high school gate. I remember how lost I felt, it was horrible, I was afraid I wasn't going to fit in, scratch that, I knew I wasn't going to fit in. So I did exactly that.

If no one wants me, so be it. I have nothing to lose. I'm not going to fit in, so I'm not going to try to fit in. I'm just going to be unapologetically me, and if no one wants that, I'm not going to give a single fuck.

I survived until sophomore year at high school without any friends. Everything was fine, my life at high school was peaceful, until a familiar blue eyes bumped into me in the school hallway.

Harrison Blackwood.

He's back.

I did the only thing that came across my mind that day, I ran.

That's the introduction for this book, hope you enjoyed it. Now, I did not edit this story so I apologize if there are some mistakes in this story. Feel free to point out my mistakes, I wont bite.

-R✨