Five Little Words

Part 3

Smiling probably his first genuine smile of the second half of the show, Ant sat back to watch the band's performance, feeling much more relieved.

He did end up taking Blue up on their offer to join in on the last chorus - and his appearance was greeted with a loud roar from the audience, and knowing grins from the four singers as they easily welcomed him into the song.

As the last notes of the song died away, and the audience cheered happily, Ant began his 'End of the Show spiel'. 

"That's it for your Saturday Night Takeaway for this week! Thanks again to all of our guests this week: Blue, Matt Smith-"

Each name he read out got a louder cheer from the audience, but all he could feel was his emotions bubbling to the surface once again. Desperate to make it out of the studio before he lost complete control, he raised his hand up and waved good night to the audience and the cameras.

"Thank you everyone, good night!"

The outro music nearly swallowed Ant's trembling voice up in its upbeat dance tune, blaring out from the studio's speakers. The cameras retreated as the audience cheered for him, but Ant didn't really care at this point.

Nor did he really care about the tears that finally spilled over his lashes - unable to stay put any longer.

Hurriedly wiping them away, he turned and brushed past Stephen and the rest of the group and began to sprint off-stage and down the hall to their dressing room, keeping his head down the whole way.

Closing the door behind him, he finally let his emotions overwhelm him, and his knees buckled as he fell to the floor; a tight, sick feeling in his stomach and floodgates behind his eyes.

He didn't even look up as the door opened, nor when he felt familiar arms wrap around his violently shaking frame. If anything, the touch only made his cries louder.

"Hey, come on mate" Stephen's voice soothed in his ear, pulling his inconsolable friend into his lap and guiding his weary head to rest on his shoulder. "He'll be fine, you'll see."

Ant shook his head against Stephen's chest - he was wrong, this was wrong: it should be Dec who was holding him, it should be Dec who was telling him that everything would be alright.

But it wasn't, and he hated it.

"We don't know that, Stevey" he replied thickly, voice choked off by another sob and he bit down on his lip to keep his emotions under control.

Stephen sighed in reply, leaning back against the solidness of the wall and rubbing a comforting hand down Ant's back.

"I know" he agreed, hating the flinch from the body under his arm. "But we've got to stay positive about this - at least until we know the extent of his injuries."

Glassy green eyes met his own, and Stephen's heart clenched at the devastating loss and grief he saw in them, and the two tears that dribbled down his blotchy cheeks as his bottom lip wobbled dangerously.

Without another word, he pulled his distraught friend into his chest and held him close. He felt a sliver of relief when he felt Ant finally relax into his hold, but then he felt his own eyes sting at the sound of the desperate sobs that broke forth from the older man.

"I wish I could say something that would help you, pal" he whispered, starting to gently rock them from side to side while keeping up the comforting back-rubbing. "I really do. And I wish I could make this all better for you both, but my magic just isn't that good I'm afraid."

That got a weak, strangled laugh - and Stephen smiled in relief at the sound.

Pulling back, Ant wiped a hand over his face and smiled tremulously back at him.