PYD {On Hold}

Chapter 1

"Zayn buddy," a soft voice rings through the room. "Zayn are you alright? Shit wait, I'm sorry that's a stupid question, course you're not."

"Liam not now!" I grab a pillow from the opposite side of the bed and fling it at his head. I have no idea if it actually hit him or not because my head is covered underneath my blankets.

"Yes now!" he retaliated, "We were supposed to be in Lou's room twenty minutes ago! C'mon it's better if you move on."

I stiffened at his choice of words. I'm not moving on, I can't. Not when the one thing you care about most gets taken away from you, well I shouldn't say 'taken' because technically she left on her own accord.

"Fuck off." I groan. These past two weeks I've tried hiding my emotions as best I can from these boys. They knew I was proposing to Perrie and when I didn't call any of them that night or the next day Harry had come by to make sure everything was alright. Of course everything was not alright. He had found me in a similar position to that I am now, lying in bed with my blankets pulled up to my ears.

He called Louis I guess and Louis had passed the word out to the other boys. They all stopped by and normally I would've loved their company because it does get lonely being alone in my house, but at the time I just wanted to kick them out. I didn't want to be around anyone. I don't want to be around anyone.

"Look Zayn. You are part of a group. Which means without you there tonight we are not a group. If we show up as One Direction with only four of us there'll be a lot more rumors than necessary. I'm not forcing you to do anything but I am just telling you the consequences if you don't go." He says with a stern voice. Jesus I hate when he does this.

I groan. "Fine Liam. But unless you want to see me naked then leave."

I watch as his eyes widen but he listens and makes his way out of my hotel room.

Tonight is the Video Music Awards and we traveled to L.A. last night to be here. One Direction was nominated twice I think? Three times? Either way I have to be there. Liam's right, it's not One Direction if someone's missing.

I toss the blankets off of me before I step out of bed and make my way to the washroom. I turn on the shower and as I wait for the water to warm I look at myself in the mirror. It's not as bad as I thought. I was expecting sunken in cheeks, red puffy eyes, and cracked lips. The only thing I got was red rimmed eyes and greasy hair. I guess the hair and makeup team won't be so upset after all.

The water from the shower relaxed some of my nerves and I think I just stood there for a good five minutes before I actually washed anything. When I got out I put on an oversized sweater which I think belonged to Harry at some point and a pair of sweat pants. When I get to the room there will already be clothes set out for me anyways.

By the time I got to Lou's room down the hall I was already pressing time because we had a half hour until we were supposed to be headed off to the show.

"Ah good Zayn hunny go with Amanda and she'll help get your clothes figured out." Lou greeted politely when I knocked on the door. I can tell she's frantic and it was probably over whether I'd show or not. I followed Amanda to the makeshift dressing room they had in the living room. She grabbed a couple hangers off the clothing rack and began to explain the options. I hadn't heard a single word she said but I nodded absentmindedly. She must've noticed because she stopped talking and pushed the hangers into my chest. I thanked her and started to change.

The suit that was chosen wasn't all too fancy, but how casual can a suit be? Amanda reentered the room and gave me a nod of approval.

"What do you think?" she asked once she walked a full circle around me.

I shrugged. "A suit's a suit."

"Fair enough." She laughed. "Alright well Charlotte's ready for you in the kitchen."

I thanked her once again and then walked to the kitchen. Niall and Harry were eating some cereal at the counter and Charlotte was talking to Lou. Lou looked up to me and smiled warmly saying I looked amazing. She's obviously referring to my clothes, because I know I still look like a tired old man. I thanked her politely before taking a seat on a stool and let Charlotte work her magic to help with my mess of hair and face right now.

It was fairly rushed because the van had already arrived and was waiting for us outside. Lou gave us all one final look over before wishing us luck and sent us out of her room. Preston and Mark, our heads of the security team, were waiting at the end of the hallway. None of us said a word the whole journey to the van.

I try thinking of something to keep my mind occupied but I don't like where these thoughts are headed so I switch to counting trucks outside my window. If I was to drive one day, hopefully soon, I'd want a truck. I just find they are more reliable than any other vehicle. Harry has some nice cars though, maybe I can get one of those too. But a truck first.

I could probably get my license any time I want, it's just with all the traveling we do there wouldn't be much of a reason to own one. It's not like I need to have a car in London.

When the traffic becomes too much and I realized I've counted the same trucks twice I slump back into my seat and close my eyes, trying to drown out reality.

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Please vote and comment!! I think I'm focusing on my other book first!! Please check it out!! I'm 99% confident y'all will like it;)