Unexplainable [Original Version]

[chapter sixty-five: "the best thing"]

As I settle down in a nice, uncomfortable folding chair near a television set that's not too far from Gorilla, I reach down into the pockets of my pants and pull my taser out. I can't help but smile as I look down at the damn goofy thing.

This is going to be one of the dumbest things ever, but I love it. I mean, I guess it makes sense that this is the only way to take Goldberg down, since Bill is supposed to be this big, unstoppable force. At the same time, thought, it's fuckin' comical.

It's going to be hard for Joli to not break character out there, I just know it. She's been talking about how excited she is for the ending of the match, and it's just because of how ridiculous it is.

And to think, this won't be the last time I get to tase this motherfucker. It's just the first.

I place the taser in my lap as I focus back on the television in front of me. Joli and Kev have made their way to the ring already, and they're just waiting on Bill.

Of course, Bill's entrance takes way too long. Really, that kind of thing bugs me regardless of the competitor is. People don't want to sit and watch you take five minutes to get to the damn ring, they would much rather see five minutes of you fighting it out with your opponent. Everyone should have a nice entrance, but it shouldn't take too long.

I lean back in my chair and make myself comfortable as I watch everything play out. Even though I already know how it's going to go, I've still got to watch it. Not only am I going to have to watch for my cue, Kev and Joli are out there.

I'd be a pretty big dick to not watch my best friend's match when I'm in the same damn building.

Kev and Bill start going after one another, and crowd is pretty into it. It's obvious that everyone is on the edge of their seats, curious about Bill and his streak. It's natural, I guess, considering how well protected it's been. There are going to be some pretty pissed of fans tonight, when Kev goes over.

It's going to be great. We live for this kind of heat. That's just how we roll.

As the match progresses, Joli does a damn good job at playing her role. I swear, I love being able to just sit back and watch her whenever she's at ringside or she's on the mic, because she's a fuckin' star. I've been thinking back a lot lately to our days with Dallas in The Diamond Mine, and goddamn, Joli has grown so much.

I genuinely feel like she's become one of the best managers in the business, and I'm so proud of her. Joli's got a hell of a lot of talent in her little body, and the fact that she gets to really showcase that is amazing.

However, almost everything Joli tries to throw at Bill, he has a counter for. At the same time, though, Bill always falls into her traps; he just finds ways out of them. It's weird, and it makes both of them look bad to some degree.

Joli still kills it, though. Fuck, she's good.

Kev out there kicking ass, too. He and Bill are working pretty well together, all things considered. It's fun enough to watch, I have to say. It's not Kev's best outing, but it doesn't have to be. He's just here to take the belt and crush the big thing that Goldberg has going for him.

It seems as though everything in kayfabe goes to shit within the blink of an eye. Members of our group flood into the ringside area one by one and do their best to take Bill out. Of course, none of them are able to touch him. Bill defeats them all without any difficulties.

At this point, I'm slowly making my way down there as well, taser in hand. Joli and I share a quick glance as a way to silently communicate with one another. She's ready for this, I can tell.

Kev gets back in the ring and starts arguing with referee, who is throwing a fit about all of the nWo members who have run down to help him out. Joli starts yelling at Bill, and he's yelling right back at her.

It's kind of funny to look at, honestly. You have feisty little Jolene arguing with Bill, who is leaps and bounds larger than her. Bill looks intimidating as fuck compared to her, but I'd personally be more afraid of Joli.

When the girl gets pissed off, she's hard to tame.

With Bill and the referee both distracted, it's beyond easy for me to just jump up on the apron and stick the taser into Bill's back. The crowd gasps and pops as I tase Bill, and I want to laugh at their reactions. I can't even look at Joli, because I know that we would both lose our shit.

I scurry off to the back as Bill stumbles around the ring. I hope he's selling that the way he should be, as I don't get to watch him as I leave. I can hear the sound of Bill's back hitting the mat once Kev hits him with the jackknife.

That's it. That's the match.

I've just made it backstage as the three count ends. The crowd goes wild as Kev gets handed the title, just as we all knew they would. I peak around from the curtain and watch as Joli and Kev celebrate in the ring, sealing Kev's victory with a long kiss.

They're the fuckin' best, and I know that. I hate the pain that I feel in my chest whenever I see them outwardly expressing their love like that, because I know that isn't fair to them. I shouldn't be like this.

But, I've become a lot more accustomed to seeing lovey-dovey Kev and Joli since they officially got together. Fuck, they've almost been together for a year now, haven't they?

Shit, that sort of hurts. At the same time, I'm happy for them.

Joli needs Kev, and he's been so damn good for her. He's taught her how to love again, and she's finally beginning to move past all of the shit that her ex did to her.

The most painful part of it all is realizing that I could never have helped her like that. If Joli and I were together, we'd destroy each other, at least in this point in our lives. I'm still not in anywhere near good enough of a place to try and help repair her heart.

Oh well. Fuck it.

With the match over, Bill heads backstage first. He doesn't even look at me, but that's fine. He's just aggravated about his creative booking, so whatever. He'll get over it.

However, when Kev and Joli make it backstage, I greet them with grins and bottles of water. I mean, I snag the bottles at the last possible second, but they're grateful for it.

I hand Joli her bottle, but I pop the lid off of Kev's for him. He's got the title over one shoulder and he's chugging the water with his free hand, while Joli is too busy bursting into laughter to take a drink.

"I can't believe that shit actually happened. I swear, I was somewhat convinced that things would change backstage and you wouldn't really tase him. But fuck!" Joli's laughter never seems to end, though I'm not complaining.

Her laughter is like fuckin' music to my ears.

"You're crazy, babe." Kev lovingly shakes his head before kissing the top of her head. "It wasn't that funny."

"I don't know, man, it kind of was." I have to agree with Joli. "Go back and watch the spot, and you'll laugh. I guarantee it."

"It was the best thing I've ever seen." Joli snickers. "I can't wait to tase him myself."

"It's fun." I tell her with a smirk. "You'll love it."

Joli and I start rambling on about the craziness of the match, and Kev just listens to us go. I can tell he's catching his breath and taking a moment to relax before he goes to shower, and that's totally cool. I mean, he just finished a big match.

You know, this right here is what all of this is about. There's nothing better than talking shit with your buddies after you've just finished a match, especially one that's getting you so much fuckin' heat.