If Only

Chapter Five: That's a First

"My grandpa passed away recently and it hit me hard. I completely shut down. I locked myself in my room because it felt like the only safe place to escape the reality that he was gone. It was like a protective bubble that shielded me from the painful truth that there would be no more memories to make with him. And that guy? My dad? It's hard to admit, but I think I'm starting to feel distant towards him. It's just... after my Gramps died a few months ago, he wasn't there. He never showed up. He didn't come to say goodbye to his own father. I don't know how to accept that. All I hear are excuses about work and money. But what good is all that money if it can't bring my grandfather back? We have enough, don't we? How much more does he need? It just doesn't make sense."

"Yeah, he sounded like a real ray of sunshine. I mean, who gets so worked up over doorknobs?" His attempt to cheer me up made me chuckle despite the situation.

"I thought he wouldn't be back until next month or something. I don't know what's going on with him. I'd rather be in my own room, but here I am." I just shrugged my shoulders and stayed in the moment

"And now you're stuck with me for the next few minutes. Who knows, maybe we'll be locked up in here until tomorrow. Would you rather be stuck with me or your father? Your call."

"I'd rather not be stuck here at all..."

For a while, silence filled the cramped space of the closet as we listened to each other's breathing, waiting for the moment when Chandler would find us. I began to question why we hadn't made any noise to alert Chandler, but I didn't want to risk my father being the one to find us and open the closet.

My mind wandered somewhere else and I was brought to the memory of catching Jared right in the act of vandalizing the walls outside. I wasted no time and brought it up.

"I gotta admit, I was pretty mad when I first saw you vandalizing the walls outside. It felt like you were destroying a part of my grandfather's memory here on earth," I started.

I could hear him chuckle in the darkness as he shifted from his sitting position, straightening one leg while bending the other and resting his arm on it.

"I don't blame you for feeling that way. But to be honest, I wanted to challenge you that time. It's just something I like to do - challenge people," he explained with a slight smirk.

I chuckled at his response and replied, "And you succeeded in that. I was really challenged. I wanted to curse you out, and you know what? It felt good. It really felt good to let it out."

"But it ended up pretty great, didn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the 'vandalism', as you call it. It turned out pretty great, didn't it?"

I nodded, but couldn't resist teasing him a bit more. I held up my index finger and thumb, forming a small gap between them, and replied, "Eh, maybe just a little."

We shared a short laughter before I decided to ask him a question that had been bugging me. "Why this house though?" I started, staring off into the dark space of the closet. "I mean, there were so many houses around. Why did you choose to paint on this particular property?"

He was silent for a while, as if he was pondering over his answer. I couldn't help but smirk, thinking that maybe I had finally put an end to his quirkiness. But he had an answer to everything, so I waited.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" I could feel my offense growing with each passing moment. The fact that he chose to vandalize a property that was important to me, without any reason behind it, was beyond offensive.