Infinitely & Foolishly in Love

2. The Fuse

IT IS A SODDEN MORNING. I sit alone on the school bus, earphones plugged in and instrumental music playing. I only like the actual music of all songs, the words me ever make much sense to me.

Third stop, he gets on, no surprise there he's always got on there. Every single tim he gets on at that stop, I fantasise for just a brief moment that he would sit beside me and from then on we would be best buds. It hadn't happened yet and oh- wait for it... He's swaying to the right a little, is this going to be the day?--

Nah. Maybe next time.

The rain smashes against the window as I think just how sexy he looks with his hair all wet with droplets forming and falling to his feet every so often. I can slightly hear him laughing away with the other more "popular" or "cool" guys up the back of the bus. I've always been too shy and self conscious to venture up there. Besides, there windows have been boarded up back there, and I get a panoramic view of my far from interesting town everyday for free where I sit. The back of the bus always seems like three streets away.

The bus arrives at school perfectly on its usual time: 8:43am. I lift myself up from my seat and alight from the bus, onto the tiny, three foot path to the entrance to the school.

I meet my friends -all girls- at the far side of the school, across from where Jordan usually sulks amongst most 5th year guys. I've never been able to get on as well with guys as I do with girls. I convinced myself a long time ago that I was definitely gay, but I've yet to come out to anyone except Megan.

The usual banter strikes up like a piece of atonal music played by a blind orchestra, "oh no she didn't" here and "I'm gonna kill the bitch" there. I strangely enjoy this. I don't get my chance to join in, as crashing through the doors, left of me, comes my most 'loyal' female friend, Megan, the one who secretly knows I'm gay.

"Arghh OMG we are going, we're actually going!"

She's jumping up and down, attempting to hug me at the same time. Some of the guys from across the floor look up, curious. But not Jordan. Never Jordan.

"Wh.. Where are we 'actually' going" I reply, imitating her, slightly more camp than usual. Not that I'm camp at all. I don't think.

"London!!!! We got picked!!! Eeeeeee! So excited! The list is up outside Mr Simpson's class."

After calming her down, I remember just what I was chosen for. Before the summer holidays, way back in June, there was a proposition of a London trip for 4th, 5th and 6th year pupils. It was made clear that there were limited places and only the school's most valued, academic and loyal pupils would be given priority. I was never sure I was any of those things, but for the chance to actually visit the country's capital for the first time, for the price of £458, I decided to put my name down.

And here I am. Staring at the tiny A4 piece of paper, with forty names crammed onto it in two columns, boys and girls. I spot immediately that there are only ten boys going, 8 of whom are in fourth and sixth year, and two from fifth year: me and...

No.

Bloody.

Way.

Absolutely.

Not.

I'll.

Be.

So.

Awkward.

What.

If.

We.

Have.

To share.

A room.

Together?

I'll.

Get.

An.

Instant boner.

Probably.

Nu-uh.

Absolutely not.

What if (...)

Getting myself in a frenzy, Megan pounces up on me with some crazy dialogue. All I can think about is withdrawing from the trip.

"There's a meeting today at Lunch for all the chosen ones... Arghhh, my gbf (an inside joke) and I in London, ha! OMG we can get our nails painted in Harrods then go on the London Eye - ARGHHH WE CAN SEE LES MIS!!"

She goes on and on. I'm in a trance of confusion, hysteria and a curiosity to face my fears and bloody well go on the trip, Jordan or no Jordan.

Oh, but Jordan though...