F | I'll stand by you (One Chicago)

Alternative Ending

After six hours, Connor and Dr Abrams walk out to Kelly, Lee Henry and the rest of 51. Boden requested that they be taken out of rotation for the rest of the shift given the circumstances. When Kelly sees Connor and Dr Abrams, he stands up and walks over to them. 'Surgery was a success.' Dr Abrams tells him. 'I was able to drain the blood. Her ICP is high so we're monitoring that.'

'I had to remove her spleen. It was too damaged. She had damage to other organs too but nothing too severe. She's still having blood transfusions. She lost a lot of blood.' Connor adds. 'She'll need to be on medication though, to compensate for the spleen.'

'You can go and see her.' Dr Abrams. 'But please be aware, we're going to keep her intubated and she is in a coma. We don't know when- if she's going to wake up.'

'Right.' Kelly sighs. 'Thank you.' The two doctors then walk away. Kelly turns back to everyone. 'Surgery was a success but she's in a coma. They don't know if she's going to wake up.' Kelly tells them. Everyone looks at him, sorrowful looks. 'I'm erm- I'm going to go through to her room.

Kelly walks into Emily's hospital room and sits in the chair next to the bed. He takes her hand. 'Why didn't you speak to me.' He whispers. He then moves a few strands of hair out of her face. 'I would've listened. Helped.' The room starts filling with everyone from 51. Boden stands next to him and puts his hand on his shoulder. 'I can't lose her.'

'You've got furlough coming up. I'll grant you it so you can be with Emily.' Boden tells him. 'I'll give you mine if you need it.'

'Give him mine too, chief.' Casey says. Everyone follows suit.

'Thanks, guys.' Kelly smiles. A nurse then walks in.

'It's too crowded in here.' He tells them. 'Family only, for now.' Everyone says goodbye to Kelly, apart from Sylvie, who sits in the chair on the other side of the bed. They all then walk out, Lee Henry looks at Emily before walking out with Herrmann.

'Why didn't she speak to me?' Lee Henry asks. 'I should have gone to Kelly sooner.' He adds, angry at himself.

'Lee Henry Herrmann, don't you dare blame yourself!' Herrmann says sternly. 'PTSD is hard to talk about. It's even harder for someone to admit that they have PTSD.' Herrmann consoles his oldest child. 'You weren't to know she'd do this. None of us was to know.'

'I should have known!' Lee Henry exclaims. 'I live with her! I've been sharing a bed with her! I should have known!' He adds, quietly.

'Lee Henry, I can't promise you that she'll be OK but I can tell you she's a fighter. She'll try and fight this.' Herrmann comforts him.

~

It has been a few days, the pressure inside Emily's brain has reduced slightly. She still hasn't woken up from a coma. Kelly has barely left her side. Dr Abrams walks in to do another neuro exam. He's concerned that Emily may be paralysed, they did a repeat spinal CT scan and contusions to the spinal cord showed up. Even though there is a chance of recovery, he is still sceptical.  As Kelly isn't there, he starts the exam by testing the reflexes in her lower body and the reflexes in her upper body. Just as he's finishing, Kelly walks in.

'What's going on?' Kelly asks, concerned.

'I've been reviewing her scans. As you know, we did another spinal CT scan this morning. That showed spinal cord contusion. I've just re-tested her reflexes. The reflexes in her legs are not functioning, whereas all of the other reflexes are working.' Dr Abrams tells him. 'This is a sign of temporary, maybe permanent paralysis.'

'What?' Kelly gasps.

'I want to try and wake her up tomorrow, depending on her ICP,  and see if she is paralysed. I've seen people with this type of spinal cord injury walk again but the majority have impaired mobility, meaning they have to use a wheelchair if they're walking long distances or wear a brace to keep the back straight.' Dr Abrams adds. 'If I were you, I'd be preparing myself for the fact she'll be permanently paralyzed.' 

~

The next day, Emily's ICP has miraculously returned to normal. Dr Abrams has decided to wake her up. He calls Dr Rhodes in to help. He takes the tube out of Emily's trachea and Connor immediately put the suction tube in her mouth. Once he's done that, he puts an oxygen mask over Emily's head and over her mouth and nose. Dr Abrams and Connor then pull Kelly aside. 'She should be awake in the next half hour or so. We've already stopped the sedatives going through her body.' Dr Abrams tells Kelly. 'Dr Rhodes will stay in here and as soon as Emily wakes up, he'll speak to her.' He continues. 'I've also spoken to Dr Charles, and he told me to tell you this on his behalf, Emily will be admitted to a psychiatric unit as soon as she's discharged. He doesn't know how long for but he assures me it will cater to Emily's needs.' Kelly says thank you and Dr Abrams leaves. Kelly then sits in one of the chairs beside Emily's bed whilst Connor sits in the other. 

'At least she's alive.' Connor tells him, noticing that Kelly looks like he's about to cry. 'It could have been a lot worse.' 

An hour later, Emily starts to come around. Kelly is the first one to notice. 'Connor.' Kelly alerts him. Connor looks up from his phone and stands up. Emily starts to slowly open her eyes. 

'Emily, can you hear me?' Connor asks. 

'Hmm-hm.' Emily murmurs, weakly.

'Do you know where you are?' Connor questions.

'Hospital.' Emily whispers. By now, her eyes are wide open. Tears are collecting in her eyes and she looks over at Kelly, who also has tears collecting in her eyes. 'I'm sorry.' She cries. 'I just- I didn't know what to do.' 

'Hey, it's OK.' Kelly reassures him. 'You should have spoken to me.' 

'Emily, when we did a CT scan of your spinal cord, we found a contusion. This means you may be paralyzed.' Connor tells her. 'I know you've just woken up, but we need to see if you can walk. Before I do that, I want to check your reflexes.' Emily nods and Connor does so. There's a small response but not would normally happen. 'There's a small response so we're going to help you up and out of bed and see if you can walk, even slightly, that would be a good sign.' Emily nods and Connor and Kelly help her out of bed. They then assist her as she takes small walks but after a few steps, she can't walk any further. 

'I can't walk any further.' Emily shakes her head. 

'OK.' Connor nods. 'Let's sit you back in bed.'

'On the chair.' Emily shakes her head. 'I don't like being in bed too long.' 

'In the chair it is.' Connor smiles. Connor and Kelly then help her sit. 'The fact that you've been able to walk a few steps is amazing. It's a good sign. You'll have to do physiotherapy to help regain the strength and a brace to keep your back straight.' Connor informs her. 'Also, Dr Charles is going to have you admitted to a psychiatric unit.'

'I should've accepted help.' Emily laughs gently. 'Then I wouldn't be in this fucking mess.' 

'Don't think like that Emily.' Kelly frowns. 

'I was selfish!' Emily shouts at him. 'I didn't think! I didn't think how you'd be affected! I didn't think how Lee Henry would be affected! I only thought of myself!'

'Em, you can't be thinking like that. It's going to make you worse.' Kelly tells her. 'You can get through this. I'll stand by you - through it all. I will NEVER turn my back on you.' 

~

It's been a few years. Emily's PTSD has been under control. Today is the day that Emily is graduating from university. She hasn't been able to walk fully on her own yet. She's out of the wheelchair and is using crutches. She is waiting at the side of the stage when her name is called. She takes a deep breath and a professor helps her up onto the stage. She then stops for a few seconds, hands her crutches to the professor and starts walking towards the governor who is handing out the diplomas. When Kelly and the rest of 51, who Emily has invited, see her, they all stand up and cheer her along. 

At the end of the ceremony, Kelly and the rest of 51, walk up to Emily who is at the front of the ceremony hall. She is back using her crutches. 'Hey! You did so well!' Kelly smiles as he brings her in for a hug. 

'Thanks.' Emily beams. 'I don't think I'm ready though. It tired me out.' 

'Right, well after pictures, we're all going to go to Molly's! Herrmann has organized a congratulations party for you!' Kelly tells her.

'Sounds like a plan.' Emily nods.

That's where this story ends. Emily is never going to let her PTSD win again. Ever.