The Big Book Of Sempai / Senpai

How To #13 - Stop Liking Your Senpai

How to Stop Liking Your Senpai

An old proverb holds that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But what it doesn't say is that too much absence often makes the heart grow cold. If you have a crush on someone and they don't feel the same way about you, it can be very difficult to get over that person and may start a longtime circle of painful feelings. Getting over your crush is never easy, but there are a couple of useful methods to help you get over them and move on to someone better for you.

Method One of Two:
Distancing Yourself from Your Crush

1
Distance yourself from them. One of the most effective ways to help you get over your crush is by distancing yourself from them. Minimize any contact or the potential for contact so that you can get over them without having any lingering ties that could upset you or reinforce your feelings for them.[1]
Distancing yourself will be hard at first, but it's ultimately for the better and will make the process of getting over them easier and faster.[2]

2
Remove their contact information and text messages from your phone. One way to assure that you won't have any contact with your crush is to delete his contact information from your phone. Also consider erasing any text messages from them that you may have. Deleting this information will not only keep you from contacting them in a moment of weakness, but won't be an ever-present reminder of them, either.[3]
If you're reluctant to delete their information entirely, consider writing it on a piece of paper that you won't see every day and store it in a safe place.
Email copies of their text messages and then archive them if you aren't ready to completely delete them.
Remember that even if you delete your contact, they may not delete you. If they contact you, you can either not respond or choose to send a brief, polite response.[4]

3
Remove them from social media sites. The large number of social media sites, such as Facebook and Instagram, means increased accessibility to people, even those with whom you don't necessarily want to be in contact. By removing your crush's presence from your social media accounts, you can further limit the amount of contact you have with them.[5]
If you're concerned that you might hurt your crush or leave others questioning your motives by unfollowing or defriending them on social media sites, find a way to minimize what you see on these apps. For example, on Facebook you can simply unsubscribe from their posts, which will make sure that you don't get status updates.[6]

4
Stop talking about them and don't allow yourself to think about them. It's natural when you have a crush on someone to talk about them and to think about them a lot, but this will only reinforce your feelings. Consciously not mentioning them in conversations and actively shifting your thoughts when you do think about them will help you get over them more quickly.[7]
It may be difficult to not mention them in conversations, especially if you have mutual friends, so try to not talk about them or ask how they are too often. You can also step away from conversations about them.
If you need to talk about them to process your thoughts and feelings, do so but don't make it a regular habit.[8]

5
Ask your friends not to bring them up. If your friends know that you have feelings for your crush, they may occasionally mention them. This will only remind you of them and may hinder your ability to get over them, so ask your friends to not bring them up or update you if possible.[9]
There will likely be situations, especially in groups with mutual friends, where your crush's name is brought up. In order get over them more quickly, step away from these groups until they've moved on to a new topic of conversation.

6
Avoid places they and their friends go. You and your crush may have many things in common, including friends, classes or workplaces, or favorite places. Avoid situations where you run the risk of seeing them.
If you take classes together or work in the same place, don't sit near them. If they sit next to you, you can also find a way to relocate or decide to keep it cordial. Also do not engage in eye contact with them.Then it could make things awkward or spark a unwanted conversation.
If you like the same restaurants, for example, try out new places to eat.