Saying that I was down was a complete and utter understatement. If we're being realistic, I was down in the floorboards falling through the ground into the pits of hell. All I can say is that when life strikes you in the chest with a metal rod, you don't recover easy.
On these dark days in Illinois, you may find me anywhere to be honest. My legs take me as far as my mind will go. Sometimes I'm in a car, Sometimes I'm inside some against the grain music store, sometimes I'm in my home yet so far off in my head that I might as well be in Australia. Not today. See, my long time companion decided to leave me today, she left in a way that will never be forgotten. No one even knew what she was going through, we all let her slip through the slits in our hands like water. I can't even feel like a friend anymore.
Besides that, the normal dark in the pit of my stomach has grown an inch or two so where am I? A bar. It's 2005, I'm in a bar, and I just pounded two shots. Drunk? Maybe. In pain? Bingo.
You'd think that I would be in my
head as usual but no, there's a guy here and I suppose he's like me. He has the sadness written across his face like he wants to show it off. Hidden under a worn out blue baseball hat, is fiery red-orange hair but better yet a brilliant mind and just below the rim of the hat is a brilliant mouth, preaching brilliant words.
The soul leaving his chest is ever so wholesome, there are icons scattered throughout Illinois but not like him. I wanna jump onto the small cheap stage and spill my feelings to him like I'm a full cloud and my words are rain in a storm of emotion. Instead, I polish off my drink and begin to walk out the door as if I didn't just see one of the most meaningful performances in my life. I avoid my pull to the man on stage because I know I just feel lonely. As I walk out, I hear the soulful voice speak and ask that I stay. There's no one else in the bar to be spoken to. He wants me I guess. I walk up to the stage and see the blue eyes looking straight through my soul. As he extends a shaky hand, the lights go out. It's time for the man to leave now. He retracted the hand offered out to me and walked off the stage at the owner of the bar's order, I follow.
To be continued...
