You care too much. You care too much about people and the world you often neglect yourself. You don't even allow people to take care of you. You push people who care about you away. You do all of this without even realising you're doing it and then you rant about being lonely and misunderstood. You lie on bed consumed with thoughts of everything and nothing at all. You know your problem; you just don't care to fix it because fixing it would mean visiting the past and reliving the moments you want to forget and overcome the most. You think you are weak although everyone else tells you how strong you are everyday. You roll your eyes everytime you hear them say it. You know yourself more than they know you. You don't need other people to teach you about yourself.
You hold your phone and check your social media. From Twitter, to Instagram, to Facebook. Different people in each of them, but the same fake happiness. You know how much social media wastes your time. You know how it makes you feel depressed from people faking their lives to all the horrible news. Yet, you're addicted to it. Once again, you know what's bad for you, you know how to make it better, you just don't care enough when it comes to you and your mental and physical health. This just shows how weak and fragile you are.
You check your messages to see if he replied to your text. You see that he read your text yet he hasn't replied. Frustration takes over you and lonliness creeps in.
The phone buzzes in your hand. You get excited thinking it's him, but it's Jacob from History class.
'Hey, I was wondering if you have time tomorrow to help me with my paper? I'm kind of struggling with it.' The text says.
You sigh. You open your laptop to check your schedule, and you see that you only have an hour break for lunch from 12:00pm to 1:00pm.
'Hey Jacob. Yeah, I can meet with you at 12:00pm tomorrow.' You replied.
You fool. Always putting others before yourself.
"It's alright. I'm going to be okay. I can manage to eat something on my way between classes," you tell yourself.
You put your phone on the table beside the bed and turn the other side and close your eyes. You wait for sleep to take over, to exit the nightmare that's called reality into a peaceful world of dreams.
