I will never understand how I went from just a sad girl
To a sad girl that disobeyed everyone and every rule
Last Friday, I didn't listen to you, and I still went to that party with too many senior boys
I ended up drunk and puking, but I was sober enough to know that I was getting bad again
I ended up walking in the cool summer night with friends who were already drunk
I ended up being sober enough to hear the abuse coming from others' mouths
Dumb bitch,
Whore,
Ugly little fat girl.
Now it's Friday again, and a part of me wants to be high and not feeling this pain
I don't want to feel the flood of memories wash over me in waves
Another part of me wants to quit going back to drugs that turned me into someone foreign
I need a cigarette and a shot to block out my old life and my current life
