Zootopia: Snowfall (CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN)

Chapter 19

My father was living a double life. It was too much for him to keep it up. Mr. Small gave him the option to either die or kill. He chose kill. Mr. Small accused my mother for being a distraction to my father; therefore, my father killed her. Right in front of me. He shot her once in the head. I had thought I was going to die too that night.

But I didn't.

Instead, I was recruited. Some henchmen of Mr. Small trained me, my dad never did, and when I was 13...I killed him. It was a right of passage and I passed. I was to pick anyone who wasn't Mr. Small to fight against. There was no hesitation in my choice. There was no hesitation when I snapped his neck in my mouth. There was no hesitation in my answer when I was asked if I enjoyed it.

I loved it. So did Mr. Small. Unlike my own father, Mr. Small was proud of me. There were days when I actually enjoyed making him proud. They didn't last long though. I only make him proud now to survive; not to boost my self esteem.

I only loved my first kill because I've wanted my father dead for years. I've never wanted to kill anyone else. Did I though? Sadly, yes. It's a kill or be killed world. Survival of the fittest. I did what I did to survive in hopes that one day I'll escape and start over.

I know it's stupid, wishful dreaming. Something like that will never happen, and even if I did escape, there's no way I'll be able to live in peace. My past will always haunt me. Probably until the day I die.

I don't want that for Snow. They're going to turn her into a weapon. Just like they did with me. She already killed one person. I don't want her to kill anymore. Mr. Small said she has to kill an animal that represents each member of her family, but of course he lied. She's going to kill way more if the hypnosis serum works.

And to think he had originally wanted her father to steal money for him. The money was to be presented to him in a week. No one really keeps track of time around here, but a month had to have passed by now. Whether Snow's father succeeded or not with the money, he was going to kill Snow anyway. Her father as well.

But of course this evil mastermind decides to use her against her father. He wants her to betray her father just as her father had done to Mr. Small. Just as my own father did to my mother. Just as I had done to my own father. Is it really betrayal though? Neither of us was loyal or cared for the other, so I guess I didn't betray my dad. I merely accomplished a goal of mine.

My father wasn't like Snow's. I killed my father in my own free will. Snow will not have the privilege. There will be no choice. If the serum works, she'll be controlled. She probably won't remember anything she does while under it. She'll...she'll probably lose herself. The side effects are unknown yet. Hell, it might kill her. Some test subjects have died and some have not. It all defends in the animal and how strong they are to withstand it. The ones who survived were later killed because their purpose was fulfilled. There might come a time where she won't even need to serum to control her. She'll be so used to it that she'll probably not need it. They're going to brainwash her.

I can't say there's nothing I can do because there's always something that can be done. I just don't know what it is that results in Snow and I escaping both alive. Especially her.

I haven't thought of an escape plan in years. I gave up around the time I killed my father; maybe before or after that. There's just something about Snow that's...doing something to me. The number one thing in order to survive the crime world is to never grow attached. She's growing on me and I don't like it. Am I still going to help her escape though? Even if it just kills us both?

If I think of a plan, then yes. Well, maybe. Ugh I don't know. There is no guarantee. I might change my mind. My mind has been going back and forth for a while now. I don't know where I stand. I want to help Snow escape. I myself want to escape. I've wanted that for years. But I'm afraid to. God, I'm such a confused coward. How is it that I've lasted this long?