never forgotten• myungjun

•part nine•

        i ended up telling somi everything. she's a good listener. i cried into her arms and fell asleep, like that, on the couch. she stayed with me.
    when i wake up, her arms are wrapped around me tightly. i pry myself out of her grip and smile, knowing that someone actually cares.
   we spent all night talking about myungjun, and i feel much more confident. i still cried a lot last night, and i look like crap.
    today is a saturday, i plan to see myungjun. i'm still a bit scared as to what he will say, but it's worth a try. i want to apologize and tell him that everything the girls said was a lie.  hopefully he believes me.
    
      i arrive at the hospital, flowers in my hand, slowly walking to his room. i step in and he's awake. he looks much healthier now, the bandages are off his head.
      'hi myun-'
       'get out.'
        'please, let me explain.'
       'i said get out.'
    tears form in my eyes and i drop the flowers on the ground and run. i don't want him to see me cry.
    i drive home, my vision blurry from my crying.
    somi comforts me as soon as she sees me. she hugs me and asks what happened, and i tell her.
    'whatta jerk' she whispers.
    my tears don't stop flowing as she trys to soothe me and i sit on the couch for a while, looking at the ceiling. my eyelids start to droop, and i fall asleep.

*a few weeks later*
      i wake up, like i have woken up everyday for the past few weeks. exhausted, eyes red and swollen, cheeks puffed.
     i get ready for school and leave my hair down. again.
    when i get to school, there's a huge crowd surrounding something. i can't see what it is from my car. so i get out and walk towards the crowd. i push through and finally get to the middle.
    it's myungjun. he's back. and he's kissing the girl that told lies about me.
    my breaths become heavier and my legs feel weak. i walk to class, shocked at what i saw. i wanted to cry. but no, i couldn't let them see me like that. that would just give them a reason to make fun of me.
   i went through all my classes perfectly fine.
  in music class, myungjun wasn't in his original seat, he sat beside the girl.
         i'm really surprised he even remembered how to play the violin.
    i still look terrible, but everyone's gotten used to it by now. except myungjun.
   we didn't use our instruments today, we just listened to the teacher speak, and i see myungjun staring at me out of the corner of my eyes. i don't look at him, although i know he's looking at me, and i pretend i'm focused on the teacher.
     when the bell rang, i rushed out of the classroom before myungjun and the girl, and i look back at them. they're holding hands, but myungjun is looking at me with a pained expression on his face. the pained expression he once had when we had first met. i walk away faster and don't look back again.