Meet Me on Thames Street • All Time Low

Chapter Twenty

I grabbed Jack by the hand and led him out of the crowded club and out the back door. There were only a few loners back there, most of them already passed out on the ground due to being too drunk to function.

“Jack, listen to me. That was me dancing with a friend. Plus, it’s not like you have any room to judge. You were the one who kissed Carly, right in front of me.” I spat out.

“I was drunk. You should know that, Marianne. I wouldn’t ever try to screw up what we had.” Jack said softly.

“We had nothing. You made sure of that,” I answered angrily.

“Look, I’ll do anything it takes for you to give me another chance. You mean too much to me and I can’t just let it go.”

“You should’ve thought of that before you hurt me. You hear that? You hurt me, Jack. I fucking trusted you and you treated me like a piece of shit. Is that what you wanted to hear? It actually hurt to see you with her and I’m not stupid enough to let you fuck me over again.” I was crying at this point, finally allowing my emotions to spill from my eyes. Then I ran.

I didn’t know where I was going, and I’d had one too many drinks for my sense of direction to work in my favor. I eventually ended up back in Hyde Park. It’s funny how I landed at the place that started this whole torturous situation. I wandered around aimlessly for some time, screaming at the universe for allowing myself to get hurt again. You would’ve thought that I would make sure to not make the same mistakes in London, but I did.

I let Jack see the side of me that very few ever get to. I fucking fell for this guy that I had only personally known for a week and a half, and he crushed those feelings before I even had time to process them. I should’ve known to not let myself fall for a musician, especially one with a reputation like Jack’s. But I did.

“Marianne?” I turned on my heel, nearly falling over in the process. Jack was standing there with tears running freely down his face. “You’re okay,” he breathed before throwing his arms around me tightly.

“Yes, I’m fine. Now get off of me, you heartless bastard.” I was pissed. He couldn’t treat me like that and still expect me to believe that he actually cared about me.

“Please... please just hear me out.” He choked out before wiping a few salty tears from his cheeks.

“Why? So you can make me think that it was all Carly’s fault or that you actually liked me?” my voice was hoarse from screaming so much, but I didn’t care.

“No, I just want to be honest here. I’m not going to try to make you believe anything but please just listen to me for just a few minutes. Then if you don’t want to have anything to do with me, so be it. I’ll leave you alone.”

I thought over his proposition before finally giving in. Although it would probably end up bad on my part, I nodded my head and sat on the ground, knowing that my drunken state would have me falling over in no time anyway.

“I was drunk, and that’s no excuse for what happened. I wanted to talk to you, but I was afraid. I’ve only known you for such a short time and I was scared that I would fuck things up, which I did anyway.” He ran his shaking fingers through his hair before looking me in the eyes. “I saw you talking to the bartender and noticed the smile on your face. I didn’t want to say something that would take that smile away... God you have such a beautiful smile. I didn’t want to let my feelings get in the way of our friendship, because I thought that you would hate me for falling for you.”
My heart was pounding in my chest; there it was. The words I had often dreamed about hearing back when I was just a fan, and Jack was saying them to me.

“So I kissed her,” he continued. “I did it thinking that if I left you alone and let you live your happy life, I could handle just being friends. But the truth it, I fucking love you. As messed up as it is, kissing Carly made me realize that. It’s more than some stupid fling or one night stand; I love you. I love the way your eyes light up when I sing to you or lay my head in your lap when we’re watching movies. I love the way you told me about your past and your hopes for the future. I love how you’re not afraid to wear sweatpants in front of me, even though I’m your ‘favorite band member’. And most importantly, I love that you made me see that there’s more to life than being an idiot or the ‘funny one’, and that I am worth more than some random hook-up. You made me realize that I actually mean something to someone, and that’s why I love you.”

I was the one crying after that. I felt more sober than ever, and I fully believed what he was telling me. He hadn’t had a drink that night and I could tell by his shaking body and trembling voice that he meant every word that he was telling me.

“Jack I-” I started, but he cut me off.

“I understand if you never want to talk to me again after what I did, but please just know that I was being selfish and not thinking about what would happen. And it was honestly the worst thing that I’ve ever done. I really don’t want to lose you, but if it’s what you want than I’ll learn to live with it.”

“Shut up and listen to me,” I felt like I was going to throw up. I’d never been really good with expressing my feelings and I was afraid I was going to say something stupid. “I believe you, and you’re forgiven. I understand what it feels like to not think that you’re worth someone’s love, but you are. You’re worth so much more than I could ever give you. But I love you too.”
I was breathing really hard, trying to keep my tears at bay.

“I love the way you let me play with your hair and how you snore when I’m trying to sleep. I love how you accepted me and all of the baggage that I have with no second thought, and I love how you’ve given me the summer of my life. You mean more to me than words can say, and I just hope that you know that you’re truly my best friend, no matter how short of a time I’ve known you. But I love you. I love your stupid face and the way you make me feel. You showed me that I’m worth it, and that I have someone who cares about me just as much. Thank you for that.”

Jack took me back in his arms and looked down at me with a smile before closing the gap between our faces. His lips tasted like apples, and I immediately knew that he only stayed sober that night for me. That feeling that you often read about – the feeling of fireworks going off in your stomach? That was nothing compared to the way my stomach was flipping and my heart was pounding. And nothing at all compared to how safe I felt in his arms, and I knew that was exactly where I was supposed to be.

“Wow,” he breathed as he pulled away enough to allow oxygen back into our lungs. I silently nodded my head, not trusting my voice quite yet.

“While I’m being completely serious for the night, would it be too forward for me to ask you to be my girlfriend?” Jack asked in a husky tone, looking at me with nothing but love.

“Of course I’ll be your girlfriend,” I whispered before pulling his face back down to mine and kissing him happily.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said in a low voice after pulling away from my face once more. “My next question is, will you go with us?”

“Go with you?” I repeated, confused.

“We’re starting out European tour. We have a couple of shows in France, Scotland, here, and most importantly – Ireland. It’s only going to take a few weeks but at least I wouldn’t have to lose you just yet. I’m not ready for that.”

“You weren’t going to lose me anyway, but of course I’ll go with you! I’ve always wanted to travel and to do that with you? What could be better?”

I was ecstatic. Instead of having a morning filled with sorrowful goodbyes the next day, I’d be leaving with the man I loved to see him do the thing he loved in a bunch of places that I’d only dreamed of ever going to.

When Jack kissed my lips once more and I got a look at the twinkle in his eyes, I knew I’d made the right choice.