one day a woman named barbara decided she wanted a baby
so she went to the shop and bought one
she was feeling edgy so she decided to use the self service checkout, but ended up getting angry at it and smashing the screen
after she fixed the screen with her magic wand, she scanned her baby again
she put him down in the bagging area, but the self service machine decided it wasn't good enough so decided to yell "pLeAsE pLaCe yOuR iTeM iN ThE BaGGiNg ArEa!!1!"
barbara stuck her tongue out at the machine, which she had decided to name doris, and stomped away angrily with her baby
once she got outside, she realised it was cold. but she didn't care because she was an edge lord so she put her headphones in and played hit me baby one more time by britney spears
as she was dancing, she dropped her baby on the head
barbara huffed and picked her baby up again. she decided parenting was going to be hard, and wondered if doris the self service machine had any kids which could be the reason she was so grumpy all the time
once barbara danced her way home, she decided to name her baby
she opened up her laptop and typed in "baby names other than paul" because she didn't like that name
the first one that came up on babynames4u.com was bob
and it was at that moment barbara knew that her baby was destined to be called bob...
(that cliffhanger tho)
