Look, I'm 18 and I have a lot of unexpressed feelings about things and not enough time to rebel so I figured I could just start a blog and vent to, well, myself because no one in their right mind would read this. If you're here anyway, welcome and g...
Since I've recently turned 18, I've come to the point in life when you just want to lay down and have an existential crisis because you either have too much time left and you don't know what to do with it, or you're always running out of time. To illustrate that statement: I can spend probably an entire week staring at a wall and wasting my entire life as I feel the crumbling, crushing anxiety of life creep towards me but I could just the same frantically search the web for "how to become a stripper" because I don't have the time to get a decent job and I could really use money to buy shit I don't need.
It was on one of these wonderful occasions that I stumbled across the concept 'time'. Something that's always felt kind of abstract to me. Everyone seems to know that time is always running out or being wasted, but if you just take a moment (you can do it right now) to sit still and feel time passing, you'd notice that you can't feel anything. When I figured that out, I also figured that time must be relative then. If I'm, let's say, dying right now (aren't we all) then my last minute may seem like it's stretching out into the galaxy forever, while you might be spending it at your friend's house or reading this, and it'll have passed without you thinking about it for a second.
And we're always thinking, aren't we? Mostly about the past and things we've done so far, things we have yet to do, things we're doing right now. Right now, you're reading this sentence, only, when this line finishes and I end this sentence with a point, you'll have realized something. This is a new sentence and the last sentence is now in the past. Unless you decide to re-read it, in which case it is in your future. Can you see now how complex time is?
Is time always happening then? Is everything just always happening? I've thought about it a lot lately and I think it very well may be. I'm thinking about what I'm going to write next, which means things are happening in the future right now, and now that thought is in the past because I've made my point. That last sentence was just as much in the past, in the future and in the present at the same time and so, I believe, is everything.
So, if we follow through with that, we're all being born, living and dying right now all at the same time. I'm 5 and peeing in a swimming pool, I'm 9 and meeting my future best friend, I'm 11 and going to a new school, I'm 15 and crying on my mom's shoulder over something I don't remember. I'm all of these times, all of these people. I guess you could say we're all somewhat eternal. There's no limit to when I am, because I am everything at once, every-when at once.
Time is complicated and it seems that, until we can time-travel, there's no getting hold of it. Although I suppose that reliving a memory or predicting a possible future is also -in its own way- time-travel. Isn't that a good note to end on today? That we're all time-travelers already? It is.
In any case, don't forget to mention what your thoughts on time are. Can you feel time pass? What's your take on growing up? Do you want to yell at me for existing? Oh, and gently tap that star, it's much appreciated.
You'll hear from me again soon, or never, or always, or now.
Ciao bois.
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