Harmony's Book of SMB Ideas

Italian Joke

Author: Welcome to my book of ideas and random short stories! It'll be fun, trust me. This is the place where I put the ideas that are just floating around in my head. Well, here's the first and I hope you enjoy!

"This is the third time he's done this, bro." Said a man, looking up at the giant castle that sat in front of him. His stunning blue eyes scanning the huge door that led inside.

"Mario, what if it's like last time?" The other one said, his gloved hands shaking a little. The voice that came out of him was heavy with a foreign accent, just like the man standing next to him. His identical blue eyes met his brother's.

"Luigi, it'll be fine. We didn't have a plan last time." The older man said, fixing his red sleeves as if preparing for battle.

Mario and Luigi were almost identical, the only thing that was different from them was that Luigi was a little bit thinner and taller, and his face was more oval shaped while Mario's was round. Both of them were attractive men in their twenties, with 80s style mustaches and matching clothes. Luigi wearing green and Mario wearing red, their favorite colors.

Luigi took a deep breath, he could feel the coward in himself rising. He adjusted his green hat, tucking his chocolate brown hair under it into a comfortable position, "Okay, it'll be fine. It'll be fine."

"Okay, so, we can't enter through here. It would be too obvious." Mario said, putting his white gloved hand on the black, wooden door.

"Where do we enter, then?" Luigi asked, blue eyes creeping up the castle. It was a perfect villain's castle; fire burning at the towers, surrounded by lava and smokey air, blackish-gray bricks, spikes.

"Follow me." Mario said, the cheeriness in his voice that he always had was not there. He took off, and Luigi's first thought was that the castle had a back door, and Mario knew about it. He followed and the finally stopped at an area where the bricks were sticking out like a rock wall, "Perfect." Mario said.

He jumped up onto the wall and began to climb it as easily as if it were a children's jungle gym. Luigi loyally started to follow him, clutching the cold bricks with his hand and hoping that they don't break. Luigi was kinda scared of heights, he didn't like the idea of falling and breaking a bone. Luigi's biggest fear was ghosts, he wasn't very fond of souls of murderous dead people who float around putting curses on people and haunting them.

Luigi shivered thinking about it.

"Look, a window!" Mario whispered to his brother from below him.

They climbed in through the window and found out that it was high off the floor. Luigi went tumbling into Mario, causing both of them to fall through and crash to the floor.

"Ouch, why do we always have to fall like that?" Luigi complained.

"My ass hurts." Mario complained too.

"Well, with the amount of padding you wear, you think it wouldn't." Luigi joked making Mario raise his fist above his younger brother. Luigi recoiled back before Mario could strike and said, "Just kidding! It's just a joke! Just a joke! Jeez, Mario, don't need to get so upset."

A frightening, evil laugh interrupted their conversation.

Mario's eyes widened when he saw his enemy standing there. The beast was leaning up against the wall and crossing his arms casually. He raised a red eyebrow at the brothers.

"You know I have a door, right?" Bowser's voice echoed in the big room, making Luigi jump.

"Where's Peach." Mario said, by the tone of his voice, it was not a question.

Bowser said nothing, he just simply pointed his index claw upwards. Mario and Luigi both looked up to see the princess in a hanging cage above them. She looked back down at them with fearful eyes.

A smile played on Mario's lips as he looked at Bowser. He stepped forward and said, "Hey Bowser, wanna hear a joke?"

"No." Bowser didn't hesitate.

"Too bad." Mario proceeded to tell the joke he just thought of, "How do you get beat up over and over and over again?"

"I'm not doing this." Bowser snapped.

"How?" Luigi chipped in.

"You kidnap Princess Peach." Mario said. Above, Peach let out a snicker.

Bowser sighed as if to hold in his laugh, and calmly said, "That's not funny."

"Hey vuoi sapere qualcosa, Luigi?" Mario said, causing Bowser's red eyebrows to knit together in a puzzled expression.

Luigi nodded his head, "Si."

"Il nostro nemico è stupido." Mario snickered, his words bringing his younger brother to laughter.

"Hey! Stop it!" Bowser yelled, an angry expression replacing his confusion, "Shut up!"

"Quando imparerà a smettere di essere ingenuo?" Luigi laughed.

Mario shook his head with a huge grin, "Non, lo conosce mai."

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Bowser roared, "IF EITHER OF YOU SPEAK ONE MORE WORD OF ITALIAN I WILL BITE BOTH YOUR HEADS OFF!!"

Mario and Luigi stayed silent.

A puff of smoke came out of Bowser's nostrils, "You two are so annoying. This time I'm gonna kill both of you plumbers, so you don't come back." He stomped up to them, causing both of the humans to back up a few steps as the tall monster peered down at them.

Mario whispered something in Luigi's ear, who nodded, but then fear washed over his face, he stopped and said, "Wait! What!?"

Mario didn't respond, he rushed behind Bowser, just barely missing his claws and leaping over his scaly tail. Bowser's focus then went to the man dressed in green quivering in front of him. He growled, showing his sharp teeth and extending his claws toward Luigi, making the human's face turn ghostly white. He grabbed him in his huge hand and lifted him off the ground, bringing him closer to his face.

Luigi turned his head away from Bowser's glare, his hands shaking and a drop of cold sweat dripped down the side of his face, "D-don't eat me."

"Oh I'm not gonna eat you." Bowser said, almost in a sarcastic way. To Luigi's absolute horror, Bowser opened his jaws so wide that the human in green could see straight down the monster's throat. Luigi drew in a sharp breath when he saw orange light appear in the back of Bowsers throat, charging up the flames.

Just when Luigi thought he would've been burned to death, a green shell came out of nowhere and knocked right into Bowser's nose. His grip on Luigi loosened and he was able to get free. Bowser roared in anger when he saw the man in red holding another shell, ready to attack again. Luigi landed beside his brother, not on his feet. After he stood, the battle continued.

(If you want the translation just go onto Google and look it up.)

Author: If you want more of the story just leave a comment and I'll make a part two or an entire novel. Thanks for reading guys!