December 3, 2017
(trigger warning?)
until the spring days and flowers bloom.
I repeat over and over in my head, I promise that until the flowers bloom and the spring days have come, I will not relapse, that I will not fall.
but these days seem a million light years away but so close to grasp onto, teasing my fingertips of its grasp; I feel the spring air and I see the buds of flowers beginning to bloom,
but, for time is my enemy and it's taking as long as it pleases.
please, hurry..
until the spring days and flowers bloom;
I promise, I promise.
but these promises seem to be slipping away, until the spring days and flowers bloom.
just a little bit closer, closer to my grasp.
and I fall..
I have fallen; a setback
something has gone wrong but, I was so close to grasping onto the spring days, and now I have fallen again.
and so it begins again, it's the middle of winter and i'm alone the frozen touch of snow to my skin.
I scream
« why couldn't this be a dream? »
I was so close to the grasp of my happiness, perhaps I wasn't, perhaps I was just close to another set back.
until the spring days and flowers bloom.
i'll try, I promise.
