leaves

those

Taehyung felt so... vulnerable at this point. He hadn't cried like this in years.

He walks down the sidewalk with the dull, lifeless, and cold atmosphere surrounding him.

He puts his arms around him as the cold breeze surges through his tanned skin.

He looks up the sky, cursing at the stars as if they were laughing at him for being such a fool.

"Taehyung, we should talk."

"Yeah?"

"I'll get straight to the point. I don't think we should keep this thing we have going."

It's nothing big, he would tell himself.

"What are you trying to say?"

"...I don't know either—Look it's just that we're not right for each other."

That it would be alright. Everything's gonna be alright.

"No, you... listen–"

"Come on, Tae, what're doing it for anyways? Instagram?"

That he would forget.

"I love you! Think of me, think of us. Jungkook."

"Taehyung, do you think this is easy for me? This– this whole thing! It's a mess, a waste of time! I lost so much money because I rejected all those companies that offered me a job in other countries just because you didn't want me to leave you. I'm here infront of you, wasting my damn time for something so....so useless! It's already tiring balancing stuff for us! For you!" He snaps, frustration mixed with hurt and anger whirled in his body. He couldn't think straight nor what he's saying is whether or not hurting the other.

Taehyung's heart was breaking into pieces.

"I love you and you love me, right?"

"I'm just saying that I need to grow up and focus more on my job than a relationship," Jungkook's expression was blank, though his eyes says it all. All of it.

"W-what? Was I not enough? O-or—or was I too much for you? I-I can change, I promise–"

"No. You don't have to change anything... Just– I don't have all the time for this anymore. Respect my opinions for once, Taehyu—"

"You're practically saying you don't want to be with me anymore!" He raises his voice, overpowering the hurt that swirled in his mind and heart. "And since when did I not respect your opinions? Since when did i make decisions without yours? I'm not the only one that decides in the relationship! And you're not the only one either! Do you think you're the only one who wastes time to be with his so-called boyfriend? Do you think you're the only one who's tired?"

Jungkook looks at him.

"I'm also tired like you are! I'm tired of constantly giving you my attention, I'm tired of waking up every morning just for you, I'm tired of risking my career for you, I'm tired of being kept a secret from all your friends. And most of all, I'm tired of being pushed away even if I give all that I have and being called "a waste of time." But that's what I am, right? A useless waste of space in this goddamn universe. Mo one gives a shit about what I want, what I need, what I do. Because I'm just a waste of time and space."

"I-I..." He was cut off by the sudden pouring of the rain.

"Is this all I am to you? An Instagram boyfriend you get to keep for a year?" Jungkook was cut silent.

"Look, Taehyung, I–" Taehyung's shoulders shook as his sobs along with his anger intensified, tears one with the rain.

"No!"

"I said that we're just better off without each other." The younger's eyes soften, muddy eyes that usually shone bright whenever he sees him are now dull as ever. "P-Please don't cry." Jungkook whispers.

The thunder clasped on lighting, creating a loud grumble sound with a flicker of light. "How am I supposed to stop?"

"Did you even love me? Was this all a game to you? A play that you trapped me in?"

Silence.

"Am I a joke to you, Jungkook? Those nights when we just talked and talked, did you regret it? When I told you everything. When I gave you everything... Did you regret it?"

"Yeah, you're right." Taehyung's eyes that were warm and chocolate brown, now piercing cold and dull.

"You're right because I totally hate rejecting photoshoots and huge companies that could be the cause of the peak of my career, just to spend time with you. Yeah, you're abso-fucking-lutely right that we're better off without each other."

Jungkook was fazed, but still swallowed the lump on his throat anyway, "So you agree." He looks away. "That's.... That's great."

Taehyung's fixed scowl on his face softened, hurt that cowered in fear behind his eyes now having courage to reveal itself.

"I just wanted someone to love me but I guess you don't get all the things you wanted in life, right? Life is that unfair, isn't it?"

"Tae–"

His voice was wavering, tears were unnoticed by the boy, blending with the raindrops pouring down on the both of them. "Don't cry."

"Close your eyes, Jungkook."

"W-why?"

"Because I don't think I can walk away from you when you look at me like that."

Jungkook looks at him for a few minutes and closes his eyes.

One, two, three... tears fell from Jungkook's eyes.

But the pain says otherwise.