Flaws

Chapter 4: My Feelings Are Conflicting

“Of course. I’m sure they’re already almost done checking it. They don’t check to thoroughly for the people who aren’t here for self-harm or depression.” Perrie replied helpfully.

“Okay. Thanks for helping me, I would’ve never found my room otherwise.” 

“That’s what I’m here for. Stay safe Kendall. I’m sure you will learn to like it here.” Perrie smiled and walked bouncily down the hallway. At least I made one friend here.

Cautiously I stepped into the room, not knowing if my roommate was here or not. Looking in the room I could see that they weren’t here, but their mess was. All around the college dorm sized room were clothes, crumpled up papers, non-crumpled up papers, and random pens and pencils. The only spots that seemed to be free of all the mess was one of the beds and one of the desks. I assumed that was where I was sleeping. I stood in the center of the room, not exactly knowing what to do.

The door burst open to reveal a girl around my age and height, though that was about wear the similarities stopped. My blonde hair hung thin and long, about half way down my back while her dark hair was in, oddly enough, a Mohawk. She had tied a bandana around her head, over her forehead, so you couldn’t see that it was a Mohawk unless you looked pretty closely. On her was a ruffled uniform consisting of a white dress shirt, an unbuttoned blazer, a wrinkled plaid skirt, and a pair of beat up combat boots. Her makeup was thick, on anyone else it would’ve looked like a raccoon, but she made it work.

“Shit! I didn’t think you’d be coming so early. I meant to make it back in time to clean this place up a bit but I guess I got distracted. By the way, the names Jazz.” She stuck a hand out invitingly. Not wanting to be rude I lightly shook her hand.

“I’m Kendall. And it’s fine. I’m not the cleanliest person ever.” I replied, not really caring about the mess at all.

“Good. I don’t think I would be able to live with another clean freak roommate.” She said in relief.

“Another?” I questioned.

“Yeah I used to room with this chick Melissa. She always had to have everything in order and such. I was so excited when she moved out about two months ago. She had been hell to live with. I hope you don’t mind me swearing by the way. I tend to do it quite often.” She supplied.

“Nah, I don’t really care. I wouldn’t say that I have a mouth of a sailor but I definitely can have a colorful vocabulary at times.” I said nonchalantly.

“I think I’m going to like you. As long as you don’t steal my food I think we’ll be okay.” She laughed.

“Don’t worry about that. Apparently I’m in here because I’m anorexic or some bullshit but really they have it all wrong.  I’m just on a diet and I like to exercise. I’m pretty sure their scale is broken. Anyway, what are you in here for?” I explained and asked Jazz. Her face dropped and the mood dampened a bit but soon she perked up and answered.

“I had some trouble with my parents and got mixed in with the wrong crowd. You can imagine what happened. I’ve been here for almost a year now, it’s honestly a great place I thought I would hate it but it’s nice. You are treated like an adult and not like you are some dysfunctional kid. You go to school with other people that understand what you’re going through. There are a few inhabitants that are pretty bitter about the whole thing, but most of them think of this as their home. I know I sure do.” Jazz spoke in such a way that it contradicted her appearance. She looked like the type of person that would hate this but she seemed to genuinely enjoy it. I just hoped I could feel the same.

“Maybe I will think about giving it a shot. I’m not very happy that my sister and mom just sent me off without a second thought, but I guess I don’t need to be bitter about it forever.” I was starting to believe that maybe this place wasn’t completely a prison, like I once thought it would be. Jazz had helped convince me, but I still had conflicting feelings about the whole situation.

“You really should. Now I think I should work a little bit on clearing the floor. I’m sure they will have your bags back soon and then you can put all of what you brought in that dresser right there. Your uniform and stuff is already in the closet, seeing as your mom already sent in the measurements.” As if on cue there was a knock on the door. Since Jazz was standing closer, she swung the door open. Outside was a boy, probably around the age of eight, but he could’ve passed for six.

“Austin! Can I get a hug?” Jazz asked excitedly.

“Sure.” The boy whose name was apparently Austin said quietly. He blushed and moved forward timidly into her arms. As soon as he was close enough, Jazz pulled him into a tight bear hug, lifting him off the ground. She released him after a few seconds and he turned his attention to me. “I think I have your bags.”

“Yeah. Thanks for bringing them up.” I politely responded and took them from his outstretched hands.

“Austin here is Maria’s grandson. He comes around pretty often to help. A lot of the inhabitants love him. I mean, look at that face!” Jazz supplied. She reached over and pinched his cheeks before he squirmed away.

“I can’t stay Jazzy. I have soccer practice in an hour. I’ll see you tomorrow though!” He looked kind of regretful.

“Ugh. I guess I will just have to wait until tomorrow to see you. Well bye. Don’t slack at soccer practice!” Jazz pretend commanded.

“Bye Jazz, bye Jazz’s roommate.” Austin yelled while walking down the hallway.

“I really need to start cleaning now. By the time I finish cleaning and you finish unpacking I’m sure it will be time for lunch. We could head down together if that’s alright with you.” She offered.

“Sure that sounds good.” Inside my head I was screaming. I didn’t need to be in a cafeteria with many teenagers all having a good time in a place I was going to be forced to stop my diet. I honestly had no idea what to do. I can’t refuse to eat because that will give them the impression that I might actually be anorexic. I certainly can’t go throw it up afterwards either. I’m not an idiot. I know that they would catch me.

Sighing, I started to put away my things. I left my laptop, iPod and headphones on the bed though, knowing I would want them soon enough. For how much mess there was, Jazz seemed to be able to clean it up relatively quickly and by 11:45 the place was pretty darn good looking.

“You ready to go?” Jazz asked me while she was fixing her hair in the mirror. She applied a little more eyeliner before looking back at me.

“Yeah I’m ready.” I replied totally not ready.

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” She replied enthusiastically.

Oh dear god what am I going to do.

A/N

Well I didn’t post it soon. Oops.

P.S. I DIDN’T COUNT THE WORDS. ARE YOU HAPPY @Jazz_Tyrell ….. I swear I wasn’t trying to name a character after you. I didn’t realize until this very moment. Oops.

~idontdrinkstarbucks