The Life of a Cheeto

I Got the Moves like Jagger

The smell of acid drowned out any thought of bliss. You feel yourself disintegrating. Slowly your body is being taken apart, bit by bit, crumb by crumb.

Looking up, you know this is your doom, your fate, your destiny. You see orange pieces fall down from a narrow tunnel with screams of terror following close behind. You recognize this voice, Jag. Tch, why him of all people to fall down here while you perish? Could there be any less mercy in this universe than you thought?

You swim away from his landing spot. Further down he drops. Closer, closer, plop! The acid ripples around him.
"AGH! This stuff stings! I thought this would be a wonder-filled heaven-", he sees you. "Oh hey there, Mamacita!"

You glare at him, but don't say anything. You want your last breaths to be of peace. You want this world-weary feeling to be gone. You want to be gone.

"Anyway, what should I do instead of staring at you die? Seriously, you're so boring, even in your last moments! No yelling, begging, or complaining! Where's the dramatic ending?" He remarks.

You have a very strong urge to kill him yourself before he dies from the poisoning liquid that surrounds you both. He was and still is inhumanly annoying!

"What is with your need for drama?" You snap. He scoffs and turns away from you. Silence.

As soon as you think the coast was clear and that you two were done, he jerks back around. But, he says nothing. This unnerves you. He interrupts you as you almost begin your grand opening of a good roast. He spreads his hands.

"Tell me, why do you think I'm here? Adventure? Psh, of course not! I came here for ACTION, DRAMA, aaaaaand EXCITEMENT!" He says all of this in his corniest announcer's voice. "And I thought you liked my moves!" He whines. "After all, it is I who has the moves like Jagger. It's my namesake!"

You laugh a good one. Jag was extremely annoying, but you couldn't help it. The joke was as cheesy as he was. He grins. "Aha! That's what I was looking for! A smile on the audience's face! Why don't you do that more often, eh?"

Smile more often? What did he mean by that? You think about his words for a while.

"You haven't expressed content ever since we left the factory. It's like you left all of your emotions back at home." He replies with monotony. You are caught by surprise. Jag was never a serious Cheeto. He was always cracking jokes and making dramatic entries. To be on a topic like this with him was uncomfortable. Either that or the acid was messing with your mind.

After saying nothing for a while, you realize that you're halfway dissolved, Jag just a few crumbs taller. Your death sure was leisurely taking it's time purposely making you feel awkward. You try to ease things by talking, but suddenly everything arises, gets sloshed around, and starts chugging along just like that feeling when you were in the bag. You feel vertigo. The foul, green liquid that washed over you stung a lot. You turn to face Jag, who's back was turned to you. Is he thinking of another over exaggerated scheme?

Maladroit you still are, you speak. "So, did you really come here for ACTION?" He faces you. "Yes, it became dull at the factory. Then I heard you decided to leave, so I followed, figuring it might've been fun. But, heh, look at us now. Stuck in this hellhole. Awaiting death. Fun!" Jag delivers.

"Dang dude! You've changed more than me! What happened to the smooth talk and fun atmosphere?" You search around. "What're you looking for?" He questions. "I'm looking for Jagger. Have you seen him? He's quite a dancer. And singer! *cough* tries to *cough*." Jag looks at you dead in the eyes but is silent. "I CAN SING, MORTAL CHEETO! WATCH AS I BESTOW UPON YOU A CONCERT WORTHY OF I ONLY!"

Needless to say, he had the moves like Jagger.

You and Jag both chuckle. Then it progressively turns into maniacal laughter. The pain hurts even more than the acid. However, it feels nice.

"To perish like this is desired; spending time with you and making you smile. If we die laughing, then so be it. It would be an honor to die beside you." You're flabbergasted, but admit that you would love that. Who would've known you'd fall for Jag's sweet talk? But, you finally release the truth. Dying beside this cheesy dude was yearned for. The feeling is mutual between the two of you.

You and Jag slowly dissolve. Slowly, but together. What a joyous way to meet your demise!