Clear Skies

I drive down the slippery road, sheltered from the waves of the pouring rain pounding down on my windshield. My eyes glance to the picture of my mother that never leaves my side. One second was all it took for my eyes to miss the stray car barrelling towards me, uncontrolled. Headlights glare directly at me, angry that I didn't move out of his way. A loud bang rings in my ears as my car swerves with the heavy impact of a head on collision. My vision swims as wheels screech against the wet asphalt.

My eyes flutter, fighting a losing battle against the temptations of sleep. Darkness clouds my view as the world stops spinning. I slip into an everlasting sleep. I open my eyes to a field of green, spotted with the whites of daffodils; the sun sparkles, blessed with my arrival. Hanging high in the clear blue sky, puffy white clouds lurk over me. The breath of my mother's lyrical voice reaches down to me, whispering her terrible joy at seeing me once more.

"I've missed you so much, mother. It's been so long since your accident; everything is different yet nothing has really changed. Dad has been working so much, I rarely ever see him; I feel so alone."

"I know darling, I have missed you too. I know things have been hard lately but you can't stay here. This isn't a place for the living and it's not your time to join us."

"I don't want to go back mommy. It's too hard. I want to stay here with you."

"You can't stay here. You're needed at home," words I'll never believe.

"No one needs me," as the words spill from my mouth, my vision blurs as a scene fills my eyes.

My father's cries reach my ears. Tears stream down from his eyes, past his cheek, and drip from his long chiseled jaw. His hair untamed and unruly, sticking up in every direction. Never before has anyone seen a hair out of place or tears gracing his face. Always the epitome of elegance and perfection, the businessman with the charismatic white smile, dry cleaned suit, and commanding personality; my father never cries, he never has a hair out of place.

"Don't you see, he needs you."

"He may be the only one," I replied, the bitter taste of self-deprecation on my tongue.

My eyes once again glaze over in a blur before another scene flashes in my eyes. I see the faces of my three closest friends, but older. Their soft faces, now turned hard from years of sadness and loneliness. A sadness I know all too well.

I am drowning in the tears of my father and the misery of my friends. I am ashamed of the damage I left behind but am too afraid to return to the life I was living before. I don't know what to do. If I choose not to return, they will never know; they will never know that I had a choice. There would be no judgment; I could leave painlessly, and it would all be over. If I stay, I will be with my father and friends for a little bit longer until the next accident, until my time comes.

"Time is running out, you have to make your choice. Be careful, you have to make the right choice. Once you make a decision you can't change your mind."

I have already made my choice. I gently whisper my last words, "I love you daddy."

In the distance I hear a sorrowful choked sob, followed by a deep remorseful voice.

"I'm sorry for your loss."