Open Up (Jaeyong) [Complete]

ten

The ride back to the house was strained with silence.

Taeyong stared bleakly out the window at the cars going by, rain beating on the window.

He hadn't meant to lose his composure. His father did this to him almost every year and not necessarily because of a woman.

He just didn't like having his son around to remind him of his dead wife. It still hurt him, though, to realize how much his father really hated him.

Jaehyun sat across from him, he could feel his eyes on him, but he just didn't have the strength to talk about anything.

Jaehyun just didn't understand that this was what life had been like for years. 

Taeyong had been an outsider to his own family since he was eleven years old. It was cold and lonely, but he was used to it.

When the limo pulled up to the house, Taeyong bolted from the car before the driver even had a chance to come around for the door.

Jaehyun was behind him.

"Taeyong, wait up."

Taeyong turned on him so suddenly, Jaehyun took a step back.

"I don't want to talk about it, Jaehyun. I really don't. Please just let it go, okay?"

"I'd love to, but ignoring it won't make it go away."

"And facing it won't make my father love me. It won't make him like me, be kind to me, want me around, or even respect me, so why bother?"

Taeyong could feel the anger building up inside him. Pushing his wet hair out of his face, he glared at Jaehyun.

It wasn't Jaehyun's fault his life was shit, but he was there.

"What is the point, huh? Why should I face it? It will always be there in the back round. No matter where I go, I'll always be the rich kid no one wanted! I'm not good at anything I was supposed to be good at; even if I was it wouldn't please him! Don't you get it?! So tell me, Jaehyun, what the fuck is facing it all supposed to do?! Huh?!"

Jaehyun moved forward and grabbed Taeyong by the shirt and slammed him up against a tree, the rain beating down around them. Anger at Taeyong's father and the way he'd raised Taeyong boiled in him.

But it was his anger at Taeyong thinking so lowly about himself stabbed through him like a double edged sword.

"Maybe facing it would teach you a little respect in yourself for once. Maybe facing it will teach you that you are more than what your father sees! That people want you, that you are not alone and you don't have to be alone! Just maybe you could learn to let people in and stop being so afraid that everyone is going to hurt you."

"People hurt me all the time, Jaehyun. It's a hard lesson, but one I've learned rather well. You let people get too close to you and they will hurt you in the end, weather they intend to or not."

Taeyong shook his head angrily.

"Tell me, what exactly do I have to respect? I'm a fuck-up and a coward. I admit it! The only thing I'm really good at is reading books and painting. Both of which are escapes. I can't even bare to face reality for to long without the fear of completely losing my mind."

Taeyong let his head fall down as a bitter laugh full of self loathing escaped his lips.

"Do you know what it's like, Jaehyun? Do you have any idea what it's like to have people see you and only see your father and wonder how they can use you? Or to have everyone expect things of you that you can't possibly achieve, and have them waiting to watch you fail? Do you know what it's like to hold a blade over your wrists and struggle to find one damn reason why you shouldn't put just a little pressure on the blade and make all the pain go away?"