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The past and the present sat in the living room, the future looked tense.
Miranda didn't know whether or not she should laugh or cry as she sat watching the father and son duo watching each other. Joseph looked at Zeke in fascination while Zeke watched his father with innocent curiosity.
In a weird way, she felt like an outsider, like they were currently in their own secret bubble while she sat on the outside looking in.
She knew it was silly to feel this way, it was simply because she was so used to having Zeke all to herself.
"So, do I call you dad or daddy?" Zeke's innocent voice broke the silence.
Miranda watched quietly as emotions played across Joseph's face, the dominant one being happiness. She saw him swallow, he was obviously feeling overwhelmed.
"What do you want to call me?" Joseph asked his son patiently.
"Um... I think I'll stick with dad. Daddy is for babies and since we missed that part, dad will have to do." Zeke replied innocently. He had no idea that his words hurt both his parents.
Miranda turned to glance at Joseph and found him staring at her accusingly. He didn't have to say it she knew he blamed her for missing the first years of Zeke's life.
"You do look like your pictures though," Zeke said shocking both his parents.
They both sat looking at him with shocked expressions. Miranda turned to face her son curiously.
"My pictures?" Joseph asked
"Yeah" Zeke replied nodding "Mom keeps them in a box," he replied thoughtfully, an innocent pout on his face as though he were remembering something. "She use to look at them and cry when she thought I was sleeping or playing in my room."
Miranda wished she could dig a hole and dive in it to hide. She had no idea Zeke had witnessed some of her vulnerable moments. It pained her knowing he saw that. This time it was her looking at Joseph accusingly.
"You have pictures of me?" Joseph asked her ignoring her expression.
Miranda looked at him blankly and choose not to respond.
"I always wondered if you were my dad or not but since your pictures made mom sad I didn't bother asking," said Zeke
Miranda sat wondering where in the world was her quiet reserved child. The talkative one in front of them right now was so far from the child she was used to.
"Dad?" said Zeke like he was testing the word.
"Yeah?" Joseph replied emotionally.
She watched him swallow around the emotions that were clogging his throat.
"Where have you been all this time?"
Miranda and Joseph eyed each other. She knew the question might come but she didn't expect it so soon. She was nervous, what if Zeke got mad at her too?
"Zeke-"
"Wait," she said as she reached out and held Joseph's hand. Nervous about what he would say.
He glanced down at her hand holding his, she quickly let go and nervously twisted her fingers together.
"Your mom and I lost touch when we both moved out of town. We're just now seeing each other after all these years, so... I'm just now getting to meet you."
Miranda could see how much it was taking out of him to somewhat come to her defense. His altered version of the truth seems to satisfy Zeke's bubbling interest, at least for now.
She excused herself to go check on the food in the kitchen while Zeke gave Joseph a rundown of the pictures in their album up to this point in his life.
This night was taking a lot out of her. Having to be around Joseph was causing havoc on her mind. Her emotions were all over the place, she was stuck somewhere between wanting to yell at him and wanting to continually apologize for what she had done.
A presence in the kitchen caused her to turn and see Joseph leaning against the doorway with his hands in his pocket.
"Dinner is about ready," she said trying to fill the silence.
When he still said nothing she turned away to remove the meat from the oven.
"Where's Zeke?" she asked without looking at him.
"He went to find more pictures to show me. The ones from the years I missed out on," he replied
She didn't miss the way he stressed the point that he missed those years.
"I'm about sick of you rubbing that in my face! You're acting mighty self-righteous as if you're innocent in all this, well you're not!" she snapped at him.
Her sudden outburst caught him off guard and had him straighten up to glare at her.
"You're trying to make excuses for what you did! Do you think it was alright what you did? Last time I checked you're the one that threw yourself at me!"
She winced at his words. Though it was a low blow it was also the truth. Her young self had been so infatuated with him that she had given herself as a sacrificial lamb that night just to ease his pain.
Her lip trembled as the emotions caved in on her. She quickly turned from him and busied herself with putting the finishing touches on dinner.
"I don't remember you refusing," she said quietly
"That's because you played your cards right. Waited until I was drunk and had no clue what I was doing or who I was doing it with. You're more devious than I thought you were or ever could be."
His tone grate at her nerves.
"Take that back right now! What I did that night was not devious. I was young and stupid." she snapped
"Young and horny you mean?" his tone taunted her.
She wanted to slap the stupid smirk off his face. He was being a total asshole. She almost regrets ever sleeping with him but then that would mean regretting Zeke too. Zeke is someone she would never regret, ever.
"Call it what you will. If you want to play the damsel in distress go ahead. The fact is you were cold and undignified in the way you treated me the morning after. I was young Joseph. " her voice broke on his name. "I was in l-"
She stopped and reached for the dinner and brought it through to the table.
"You were what? " she heard him ask from behind her.
She turned to glare at him and yelled "Zeke time for dinner."
